Page 44 of Even After This
She scoffs at me. “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
I wish. With all my heart, I wish.
We come up with a plan, and out of love, I don’t tell her it won’t work. All potty training plans fail. Bless her heart when she calls me to come up with another strategy. Been there. Bought the T-shirt.
While we walk a few more aisles, my phone’s default ringtone sounds. I glance down, and the name of my caller pops on the screen. Hercules. I purse my lips and try to tone down my grin. My stomach whooshes like I’m on the downside of a roller coaster hill. “It’s Harlan.”
Sally’s eyes bug out, and her gleeful smile almost blinds me.
I turn my body and hug the diaper shelf. “Hello?”
Nothing.
The phone continues to ring, and I stab repeatedly at the screen to accept the call, lamenting the untimely loss of its sensitivity. I’m going to have to get this fixed when I get home.
Finally, my phone acquiesces and answers the call.
“Hey.” My breathy answer releases as I knock down a tub of Vaseline.
“What are you doing?” His deep voice resonates in my ear.
I place the fallen product back on the shelf. “Looking at rash creams.”
Silence.
Oh, shoot. My hand slaps my forehead. “For bottoms.” I nod at the Desitin as if he can see me.
More silence.
Oh, shoot again. Fix it. Fix it fast. “For babies.” My high-pitched voice carries through the store.
Harlan’s boisterous laughter causes me to pull the phone away from my ear.
I blow out a loud sigh. “Can I have a do-over on this conversation?”
“Sure. Hey, Meredith”—his voice rumbles with amusement—“what are you up to?”
I try to mask my mortification with a neutral tone. “I’m at All Things Baby Mart with Sally.”
The ominous sound of a distorted electric guitar, followed by a computerized “I am Iron Man,” causes my head to snap up.
Sally bounces on her toes. “It’s Spence.” She fumbles through her purse for her phone.
Harlan calls my name through my cell.
“Oh, sorry. Spence is calling Sally. His ringtone is the theme song fromIron Man.”
“He wishes,” Harlan says. “He played a small role in the first one. Spence talks schmack to Robert, claiming he would’ve made a better Iron Man.”
Robert. As in Robert Downey Jr.
“You people aren’t normal,” I say with breathy exasperation.
Harlan chuckles.
“Babe.” Sally beams at the ground, her phone to her ear. “We’re at All Things Baby Mart.” Pause. “I agree, but Meredith is a genius. She’s revolutionizing our lives with this one trip.” She flashes a smile at me, then stares back at the floor. “What, babe?”
I turn my attention back to Harlan. “Did you call for something in particular?”
