Page 117 of Even After This
Shifting to the far side of the window, I knock on the wall with my knuckles. “Over here are my fundraising and networking ideas. My contacts in Colorado Springs are few, but Sally and Spencer will have some ideas. Maybe I could also brainstorm with Prissy about her connections.”
He takes a wide stance and crosses his arms over his chest. Two creases appear on his brow as he concentrates on the information.
I run my pointer finger down the edge of a separate grouping of notes. “This is a projected timeline with what I think needs to be put into place, but what do I know? I’m super limited in my knowledge on this kind of thing. And last, these are basic funding thoughts. Again, I’m taking guesses.”
Pursing my lips, I turn from the safety of the wall and face him.
“Prissy will for sure have connections.” His gaze shifts to the window, Twelve Bluebells Ranch off in the darkened distance. “You’re thinking of the Carson property.”
“Yes. But I guess I could do this anywhere.” Even as the words leave my mouth, that sentiment doesn’t sit well in my gut. I didn’t realize until this moment that I’m attached to the Carson property.
“So Prissy’s your first call.” He nods, still not making eye contact. “I’ve got a finance guy who’s been with the family for decades. He’s trustworthy. If he’s in over his head, he’ll know where to direct you.”
I reach up and pat a blue note that says HANK. “I’m going to need to steal your ranch hand. There’s no way I can run that place on my own.”
“You can’t have Hank.” His eyes slide to mine. “He’ll scare the girls away with his inappropriate hearing. Also, I’m not sureyou’ve thought of this, but with pregnant women around, it’ll be hard to enforce the no-vomit rule.”
A nervous giggle escapes. I draw the pencil to my mouth and chew on the end again.
Harlan squares his shoulders to me but says nothing. Then in one beautiful moment, his eyes soften into a look filled with awe. “This is incredible, Meredith.”
“Yeah?” I ask, vulnerable. Exposed. But also relieved. It’s out there, and he gets it.
“You did it. You dreamed big, and it’s incredible.”
My smile is so huge, the muscles in my cheeks protest.
Without breaking his gaze, he reaches for my hands and removes the pad and pencil from my grip.
“Don’t mess up my creation.” I hitch my thumb in the direction of the wall.
“I will try not to mess up your creation.” Looking down, he writes something on the top page, pulls it off, and posts it smack in the center of the window. “I just need to know where this one fits.”
His stark, lone Post-it note sits in the middle of my blueprints with a simple message written in all capital letters.
HARLAN?
28
I tear downHarlan’s Post-it note, grab the pencil, and draw a dollar sign on it. “You’re going to be my eye candy for fundraisers. A hundred dollars for a hug with Hercules.” Turning to him, I hold out the amended paper and plaster on a smile that I hope covers my unease.
He takes a deep breath, the mood in the room shifting to something more serious. “Your wall of ideas is amazing. But I’ve been doing some planning too. I have choices to make about my career.”
I remain quiet, not sure what’s coming next.
“When I consider my future, you’re standing right in the middle of everything.” He offers a small smile, but it’s not one I’ve seen before. This one is a little unsure, or maybe cautious. “I’m wondering if we should talk through some of these options. Think about what life together would be like.”
A terrible combination of exhilaration and fear courses through my nerves. My heart beats wildly in my chest. I knew this moment was inevitable. I just wish I had more time with him before we needed to have this discussion.
He reaches for my hand, concern etched on his face. “If it’s too soon, we don’t have to discuss this now.”
“No, it’s time.” I clear my emotion-clogged throat. “But first, I need to show you something.”
His eyes never leave mine and he nods.
As I pass by, I squeeze his hand for him to follow me into the kitchen. I snag my purse and rummage through it, crinkling Harlan’s Post-it note in the process. When I find what I’m looking for, I draw in a long breath.
Harlan stands on the opposite side of the island, his hands splayed on the marble counter.
