Page 67 of SEAL Camp

“I would like that very much,” he said. “Although I’m pretty sure I knew enough the very first time we talked. I was just too scared and… stupid to know it. I’ve been working on that, while I was, you know, giving you some space. I’m still working on a lot of things, trying to carve out another option for myself besides manipulative asshole, lying asshole, or idiotic asshole. I think I’m finally getting somewhere with desperate-for-enlightenment-and-desperately-in-love-with-you bonehead.”

She laughed her surprise.Desperately in love…

But Jim wasn’t done. “I’m so freaking imperfect, Ashley,” he told her quietly. “But over the past few months, I’ve learned that I can do this. I can live with the loss of this thing that I love—being a SEAL. Letting it go and moving on. It’s still hard, and some days really suck, but… I’ve been having glimpses of… new purpose and… pride. And I know that I can even… keep going… without you. If I have to. I hope I don’t have to. God knows, I don’t deserve a second chance, and I’ll do my best not to screw it up. But I’m pretty sure I’ll make mistakes. More mistakes. I mean, that’s kinda how I roll. But here’s something I know for sure: my life will besomuch better with you in it. And I’ll work harder than I’ve ever worked in my life, to learn how to be the partner you deserve.”

He sat back in his seat. “And… that was probably too much. Too heavy. I mean, coffee. That’s more,How’s Clark, although we did that. Or maybe,Hey, what’s new with you? I’ve been trying, but I still can’t pull a baseball cap out of my ass.”

Ashley laughed. And she couldn’t resist. It wasn’t exactly taking it slowly, but she leaned in and kissed him, and she could taste his surprise. But, as if he knew just how badly and impetuously she was blowing up her own clearly set boundaries, he didn’t push it. He didn’t pull her in close, or deepen the kiss in any way. He just softly and sweetly kissed her back.

“Oh, thank God,” she heard Colleen say.

Ash felt herself blushing as she finally sat back, but then she saw that Jim had tears in his eyes—and he didn’t try to hide it. He just looked at her with such hope and yes,love.

“Marry me,” he whispered.

“Still too soon,” she whispered back, but she couldn’t hide her smile.

And then Brittany was there, baby in her arms. “This one’s mine. His name is Rob—he was named after his favorite uncle, Bobby, and he’s five months old. So evenyouprobably can’t break him, Space, but I’m gonna hang close just in case. You need to support his head—not as much as if he were a newborn, but you can kind of pretend…”

Jim held out his arms and Britt gently nestled her sleepy-eyed son against his chest and he looked down at the baby, who yawned and then smiled as he reached for Jim’s nose.

Jim laughed with delight. “He likes me! Holy—”

“No,” Britt said flatly.

“Moly,” Jim adapted, looking from Britt to Ashley and smiling. “Look at me, capable of learning all kinds of new things.”

Ashley smiled. And as she sat back and listened as the SEALs and their spouses gave Jim a lively and laughter-filled crash course in Baby 101, she realized that, for the first time in a long time, she felt grounded. And when Jim turned to her and smiled, when she gazed back into his eyes, she felt as if she’d finally come home.

Coffee, she reminded herself, but she knew that love wasn’t possible without taking a risk, without trusting and hoping and sometimes being wrong and getting hurt. And she wanted love, she wantedhome—she wanted Jim.

But she wanted the real Jim—all of him, not the Jim she thought she’d figured out and knew. And it was going to take a lifetime of learning to truly get to know him.

As Britt finally took Rob back from Jim, as the party rolled on around them, Ashley turned to find him smiling at her. Again.

“So,” Ash said. “Everyone here calls youSpace…?”

Jim laughed. “I seriously haven’t told you about my ridiculous nickname…?”

She shook her head.

“Okay. Wow.Spaceis short forSpaceman, and I’m going to tell you the real story—the embarrassing one. Cause, you know, the fake story is that I was into NASA as a kid, and I figured I’d enter the space program, become an astronaut by being a SEAL first. Because some guys do that. But that’s not why they call me Spaceman.”

“It’s not?”

“Nope. I had a oxygen tank malfunction during one of my first HAHO jumps. That’s when we jump out of an airplane at a high altitude—so high that we need oxygen masks to breathe, or we’ll die. My main tank failed and I got hypoxia, which is, you know, lack of oxygen, and it made me hallucinate. And I started talking to Houston and Ground Control because I thought I was in outer space. And the senior chief—it was Randy Duncan, by the way—he’s shouting at me to switch to my backup tank. And it wasn’t until he, well, he joined me in my little fantasy and he called meSpaceman Slade, that I somehow managed to switch tanks. But he couldn’t be sure that I’d really done it, because I was, you know, orbiting whatever Class-M planet I thought I was orbiting, so he kept me talking, all the way to the ground. Because hypoxia basically goes hallucination, unconsciousness, death. And if I could talk, I was still conscious. And apparentlySpaceman Sladehad some things to say about boldly going, before the oxygen started working and reality kicked back in.”

Ashley had to laugh. “How is that an embarrassing story? You almost died, but you managed to save yourself. With Dunk’s help, thank you so much, Dunk.”

“Yeah, well, I could’ve done it more quietly. Saved myself the ridiculous nickname.”

“I think, as far as nicknames go, Spaceman’s… pretty sexy.”

Jim looked at her and didn’t say anything although it was very clear that he wanted to. Ashley just waited, and when he finally did speak, he said, “Coffee.”

“Coffee,” she agreed. “And maybe dinner… next week?”

“I would love that.” He nodded. “Okay, Ashley DeWitt. Embarrassing stories. I want to hear ’em all. It’s your turn. Go.”

Ashley laughed. “I’ve gotwaytoo many.”

Jim’s smile took her breath away. “I’ve got plenty of time.”