Page 66 of Silver Edge
The next day, I longed for a warm shower and Drake’s bed, so I trekked back to Bands. I approached the side door, but the chain remained, so I went to the front. A bright white sign had been tacked to the door, the wordCondemnedwritten in big red letters.
My knees hit the hard pavement, and I slammed my head against the metal door. “No, it’s not true!” I screamed. I punched the door over and over until there was no energy left in my body. My hands squealed as they slid down the front of the door and I doubled over as if I were worshiping the building in front of me instead of mourning its loss.
Tears dripped down my face, pooling on my knees.
It was over. It had all been a lie.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Day turned into night then into day again. I managed to find a quieter spot where I could be alone, staring at the clear plastic baggie of white powder that Margo had slipped into my bag as a farewell gift.
Five days passed until I managed to force myself to eat. Ten until I went to the shelter long enough to shower then crawled back into my hole.
I sat in my corner shivering. My joints and bones ached beyond anything I’d ever imagined, but I knew it was my punishment for being so stupid.
A horn honked on the other side of the building, reminding me there was still life out there. My emotions were spent, all my anger drained after punching a garbage can until my knuckles bled, my sadness after crying myself to sleep each night. It was time to do something, but there were only two options.
I rotated the small, clear bag between my fingers. The thought of easing the pain caused a hopeful spark inside me. It was my birthday after all. Certainly I could celebrate the only way I had left. The other option was to call Ton collect and go back to New York. That wasn’t as appetizing an idea. All I knew was that I needed to do something. At twenty I shouldn’t still be hovering in the darkness. It was time to grow up and deal with life, even if it sucked worse than an anteater with a sinus infection.
I pushed myself up on rubbery legs, slung my duffel over my shoulder, and decided it was time to say good-bye to Atlanta. Either by entering a drug-induced haze of bliss or by flying away and never returning.
I held the pouch tight between my fingers. If I was gonna get shit-faced, I was gonna do it while I watched Bands get torn down. Guess there was a third option. Get high tonight, then call Ton tomorrow. Just enough to numb the pain for a short time before facing sobriety again.
As I walked, my wrist began to itch like I’d gotten high on poison ivy leaves. I scratched it, but it wouldn’t go away. I looked down at the X and dug deeper, tearing the skin and causing my arm to bleed. “Why’d I make this commitment? Why?”
Memories of my promise and getting inked screamed at me, reminding me of what it was like before I met Ton, or the rest of my friends in the Straight Edge community. They helped me up, but made it plain that if I broke my vows I’d be beaten then tossed out. Ton said they were extreme, but would they really do something like that?
I rounded the corner and gripped the baggie. No, it was nothing but a crutch. I’d pass it to skater boy and call Ton. It was time for me to take responsibility and stop blaming the world for everything that had happened to me. I fell for Drake’s bullshit; it was as simple as that. I had no one to blame but myself, and Drake. I’d knock him out if I ever saw him again. I hated him. I hoped he choked on that money. Or better yet, that Barbie would poison him once they married and take off with the cash. That would be Alanis Morissette ironic.
A pounding in my chest broke my concentration. Then I heard car horns, shouting, and…music. I looked up to see flashing lights. The street out front of Bands was jammed with cars. Then, through the crowds of people lining up along the street, I saw men carrying equipment through the side door off the parking lot. Bands was alive.
I broke into a sprint with the little energy that remained in my body. The cold air stuck in my lungs and I stopped at the edge of the park, bending over to heave in some air. Afraid I was hallucinating, I approached the building slowly and saw the flier posted out front. It was happening? But if Drake was gone, then who?
I hurried to the side door. The chains were gone, but the door was locked, so I went around front. Ton stood at the entrance, his massive frame and height blocking the closed doors to the club. Energy erupted inside me and I pushed through the crowd, ignoring the angry shouts and overwhelming smells. “Ton!”
“Scarlet?” He stepped forward and the crowd shifted like a biblical parting of the sea. “Where the hell have you been?” He grabbed my upper arm and shuffled me through the doorway. “Not open yet. Wait outside,” he snapped at the horde of people clamoring to get inside. The door slammed behind me, and we stood in the darkened main hall. “Drake!” he yelled, his voice booming over the chaos in the main room.
Still holding my arm, Ton looked down at my knuckles. “What the hell happened?” He turned my hand over and spotted the bag of drugs. His eyes drilled into my skull. I didn’t have to look to know that he literally would’ve cut me in half right there if he had laser vision. “You didn’t. What about your promise?”
My hands trembled. Emotions?fear, elation, sadness, excitement?fought for dominance. “I didn’t. I swear,” I stuttered, not knowing what to say. The sounds, the lights, the emotions were all too overwhelming.
“It’s time to open the doors. What’s going on?” Drake entered the hall and stopped dead in his tracks.
My heart leaped out of my chest then instantly smashed into the pit of my stomach. I wanted to fall into his arms, but at the same time, I wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp for leaving me.
“Scarlet?” His wide-eyed stare slowly descended until it landed on the drugs in Ton’s hand.
“I didn’t,” I stammered again, not sure why I was defending myself to him.
Drake shuffled to me, his mouth hanging open. “What happened to you? I’ve looked everywhere. I couldn’t find you. I had police. I—”
“You looked? I waited, but you didn’t show.”
Drake smoothed my wild hair from my face. “I was with my grandmother. She was sick for days, and then she…died.”
“Died?” I mumbled back, unable to process the loss. Confusion circled in my brain, waiting to pull me down into nothingness. “No, you convinced her to give you money. There was a clause in the trust agreement.”
“How do you know about that?”
