Page 48 of Silver Edge
“What if I hurt you? You’ve been hurt so much. I don’t want to make a mistake and lose you forever.”
My chest tightened. I lifted my hand to try to relieve the pressure, but it remained. An achy, sick feeling grumbled in my belly and I wanted to just collapse on the floor. I was so tired. So tired of all these new emotions wreaking havoc on my head, my heart. “You think I’m broken.”
“No. I mean. What if you’re looking for another release and then you’re gone? Gone in the night like the rest of my family.” He looked down at me, his eyes softened, dark, lost.
“Listen, I need to go check on my stuff. I’ll see you later.” With all the energy I had left in my body, I shuffled toward the side door.
“I thought you promised not to run,” Drake called after me. “You said you wanted the truth, but now you want to leave?”
I rested my hand on the knob. “I don’t know what you want from me. You said you needed me to try to let you touch me, so I did.” Something inside forced me to spin around and face him. “Then you tell me you want me to try cuddling through the night. You tell me how you’re holding back because I need space, but the truth isyouneed space.”
“Every time I touch you, you’re still tense. I don’t want it to be that way.”
“You said you could handle it if I communicated. I’ve done everything you told me was normal in a relationship, but it’s still not enough.”
“You’re enough for me. I love having you here and working with me. You’re sexy and interesting and special.”
“But you think I’m not capable of sex beyond a quickie and gone. You say you want me, but…” I threw my arms up in defeat, but I didn’t know why. Why was I attacking him when I worried the same thing?
Drake shook his head. “I can’t seem to be in the same room with you without wanting to rip your clothes off.” He laughed, but I didn’t think it was funny.
“You don’t want me to run, but you don’t want to be alone with me, either. I don’t think I’m the one with issues.”
Drake let out a long breath. “You’re right. Maybe I’ve been hiding behind your issues instead of facing my own. I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to get hurt. Can we just keep trying?”
I crossed my arms and leaned against the far wall in the darkened corner, wishing I was back in my warehouse alone. “So what do we do, Einstein?”
Drake trotted to the stairs. “Stay there. Don’t leave.”
The moment he disappeared upstairs, I stepped outside to cool off and take a minute to myself. My head spun and I looked toward the park at the few skaters braving the unseasonably cold fall weather. It would be so easy to bolt.
But for some reason, I stayed.
Chapter Twenty
It took an hour, but Drake coaxed me back inside with a promise that we were just having a “bump in the road” and had me sit in his office while he made coffee. To my relief, he’d left stacks of spreadsheets, posters, CDs, and a bunch of other stuff in file boxes around his office. If I couldn’t sing or run, at least I had math and organization to get my mind off things.
He returned with a mug in hand and slid the box away from me. I grabbed it again and gave him the Scary Scarlet eye. “Take that box from me and I will slug you.”
With hooded eyes, he sat by my side but didn’t dare touch me. “I know this is tough on you, but you need to trust me. That’s why I stopped. I don’t want you to ever lose faith in me. You’re the first person I’ve met in a long time that looks at me as if I’m worth something more than a big paycheck or arm candy.”
I inhaled the rich coffee aroma to keep the scent of Drake’s cologne at bay. It irked me that I still wanted to be close enough to smell him even after his rejection. A car door slammed outside and I stiffened.
“Don’t worry. That’s just our chaperone. I figured I could control myself if we had someone else around. Besides, we need Walter’s help.”
Drake darted from the room, so I ignored his words and took a gulp of warm coffee bliss before returning to my spreadsheet, hoping the combination of caffeine and numbers would soothe my nerves and abate my headache. But still, I couldn’t focus.
I found an old photo album and thumbed through it. There were images of a Drake look-alike but younger, with lighter hair and a little shorter. His hair was spiked and he wore a black wristband with spikes. It had to be his brother. Flipping farther, I saw Drake, his brother, and what had to be his parents standing in front of Bands. They looked happy together, like a real family. It had to have been tough losing them all at once. Was that why Drake couldn’t be with me? Was he as broken as me?
Drake returned, dropped some fliers on the desk, then stood for a moment at ano touchingdistance. His lips drooped and he sat by my side, tracing the outline of the image.
“That was the day he bought this place. He was so happy. My parents were proud he’d finally found an outlet that would allow him to create some cash flow as well. It did seem to be a dream come true for him. That’s what he was, a dreamer.” A hint of admiration sounded in Drake’s voice.
Hawaiian strutted into the office, his flamboyant shirt and smile instantly chasing away the gloom. “Hey, Einstein. I hear we got to take a walk through town, hand some flyers out.”
I eyed the fliers sitting on the table. “These? They look ordinary. We need something to let people know it’s not just another Battle of the Bands. We need to make it feel like it’s a big secret, that only the best bands are invited and that it’s gonna be a kickass original event. That’s the only way talent will show.”
Drake scratched the top of his head. “Besides the fliers, I’ve also got a demo app on the website. Groups can upload samples, share links. I’m going to set up voting for the top bands for the line-up on the website as well. They’ll get premium time to audition. Come closing time, the last band is done even if there’s still a line out the door. With the limited number of entries allowed, it’ll get people competing just to audition.”
