Page 39 of Silver Edge
“In the last year, I started visiting more often. Now I go up every Sunday for a couple of hours. She likes it. The manager of the facility says she starts getting ready for my visits the minute she wakes up Sunday morning. In the beginning, I went because I felt like it was the right thing to do. Now I look forward to seeing her.” He glanced over at me with a strange twinkle in his eye. “I’m glad I met you now and not a year ago. You would’ve hated me. Heck, I hated myself.”
“When you had everything? Nice clothes, a roof over your head? You were succeeding.” I couldn’t comprehend not being happy when you didn’t have to scrap for food or hide from authorities.
He drove in silence for a minute before answering. “I can see why you’d think that, but sometimes having money doesn’t make you happy. I was empty inside. Although, I’m not sure I knew it at the time. I’ve been sitting on the fence, waffling between making this place work and returning to my old life. I didn’t want to fail my brother, but now I don’t want to fail myself, either.” He sighed. “I’m not sure I’m making any sense.”
I thought about all I’d done wrong in my life and what I could change and learn from. “I’m not good at sharing, but I’ve done things, too.” I took a long breath and watched the buildings come into view ahead.
“You can trust me. I won’t judge. I have no room for judging. I’ve cost people their jobs so I could rise to the top.”
I slid my hand from his, knowing I couldn’t speak of things while touching him. I didn’t know why. I just couldn’t. He didn’t stop me, or give me a strange look. Instead, he placed his hand back on the steering wheel and his other on the turn signal as if nothing happened. “Remember I told you about the foster parents I lived with?”
Drake gripped the wheel tight. “Yes.”
“I did things there. There were so many of us and so little food. At the time, I told myself I did what had to be done, but because of me a boy almost died.” Memories of Scott, a boy living at the same foster home, pleading and bleeding because of me, strangled my insides. “I stole food from the kitchen then blamed a boy. As reward for telling, they strapped him to the barn door and everyone watched while I beat him. He cried and begged for me to tell the truth, but I didn’t listen.”
Drake pulled off the interstate into a gas station. Was he going to tell me to get out of his car? That he never wanted to see me again?
He turned into a parking space and shoved the gearshift into park. Leaning over the steering wheel, he closed his eyes. I held my breath. It was better this all ended now. This was just a dream that would never happen. People like me didn’t end up with guys like him.
He let go of the wheel and turned to me. I shrunk back against the door. His face softened. “You were a little girl then. You’re not responsible for what those monsters made you do. I’m not sure I could control myself if I ever found those people. I hope they’re locked away in jail.”
I swallowed the large rock in my throat and focused on chipping my nail polish. “You don’t hate me?”
“Scarlet, I could never hate you.” He lowered his hand to his side. “Can I touch your arm?”
I nodded, but my body tensed until his fingers grazed my wrist then moved to my shoulder. He squeezed, and I thought he’d kiss me, I hoped he’d kiss me, but instead he sat back and held my fingers in his hand. He sat silent for a moment and I wanted to know what he was thinking. But I didn’t know what to do. How was I supposed to understand his thoughts without just outright asking him? I scanned my memory for any social cues I’d picked up on but couldn’t find anything.
“Drake?” I whispered.
He shook his head as if to clear it. “Yes?”
“This might be one of those moments I don’t understand. Am I supposed to do something?”
One eyebrow rose. “Do you want to do something?”
“Yes,” I mumbled under my breath.
“What?”
I swallowed and watched his thumb move back and forth over my hand. “I-I don’t know if it’s what I should do, or if it’s the right time. I’m not good at knowing those kind of things.” He sat in silence, so I continued. “I want to kiss you.” His shoulders relaxed and I realized I’d kept him in suspense with my words. “Sorry, I just thought I was supposed to do something else, but I didn’t know what.”
Drake tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I knew he was careful not to touch my neck. “Kiss me anytime you want. There’s never a wrong time.”
A flutter in my belly tickled me, but I ignored it and cupped his face. His hint of stubble felt rough under my fingers, but I liked it. I nibbled at his lower lip, like he’d done to mine the other day. He tasted like the coffee we’d had at his grandmother’s, one of my favorite flavors.
A vibration in my belly surged outward and covered my spine, ribs, and shoulders. When our kiss deepened, the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood up. My breath caught, and I had to break the kiss to fill my lungs, but I didn’t want to give up my exploration. I’d never taken time to learn how to kiss, or taste, or smell someone. And this was Drake, eye candy of epic proportions that any girl with eyeballs would fall for. Yet he sat here in the car, allowing me the time to see him in another way.
I lingered at his collar, enjoying a hint of earthy scent on his shirt. I paused, circling my nose around a button before I pressed my lips to his neck. His head tilted back as I rounded to his ear. Moving my hands through his soft hair, I nibbled on his earlobe and his hands clutched my arms tight. It startled me and I jerked away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to stop.”
Drake gasped. “I got a little too excited. I’m trying to control myself, but you make it tough.” He lowered his head to my shoulder and I ran my nails up and down the back of his neck, wishing I could handle the same touch done to me. “I’ve never been so excited by a kiss. You’ve got me all turned around.”
“I’ll stop.” I turned in my seat to face forward and dropped my hands to my side.
“No, don’t ever stop. I just need to learn to control myself. I don’t want to take things too far, too fast. This is new to me. I’m used to having sex five minutes after I meet a girl that I’m interested in, but that’s not what I want with you. I want more.”
This time it was my turn to quirk an eyebrow at him. “I don’t understand. You don’t want to have sex with me?”
“Oh, I want to have sex with you.” He blew air out through his lips and gripped the steering wheel again. “It’s taking everything I have not to take you right here and now without a care of who could see us.”
