Page 69 of The Poet Empress
“This is our chance,” Maro overheard one of Terren’s tutors whispering to Lady Autumn. “If he is successful, he will not escape the notice of the emperor.”
“He is already in the emperor’s notice,” she replied, a distant smile on her face. “The Dao sigil speaks louder than deeds.”
“Even so,” the eunuch An Sui whispered, “do you think it will be enough to tip the scales? Perhaps we need something more…” They went off to speak in private.
Maro pretended not to hear anything. He stood silently by the gates while everyone kept praising his brother, too tired and in pain to care. It was a feat to even keep his eyes open.
There turned out to be a message for him, too.
While everybody was still celebrating about Tieza, the herald placed a scroll in his hand. It bore the imperial dragon seal. Father’s seal. Despite his overwhelming exhaustion, Maro managed to summon up at least a small tinge of excitement as he peeled off the seal and unrolled the letter.
After he read it, he stared at the paper for a long, long time.
Lady Sky, Second-Rank Concubine and Mother of the First Son, has died of an accident.
That was the entirety of it.
There was no expression of sympathy, no condolences, no acknowledgment of her long service in the Inner Court. No gratitude for raising a prince. Maro tucked the scroll away in his cloak, feeling like he was in a dream.
“… you can come with me,” someone was saying to him. It was Terren, bouncing with excitement. “I’ll make swords for the army, and you can make roads for them to march on. We can work together, take on the north side by side! What do you say?”
Maro blinked at him.
“Come with me to Tieza,” Terren said again, throwing his arms around Maro’s waist. “If we talk to Father together, I bet we can convince him. And once we’re done with my campaign, I’ll go with you on yours! We won’t ever have to be apart again. We’ll travel the country together, eat all the best noodles, play ‘dueling couplets’ a hundred times a day—”
“Let go of me,” Maro said. He left his bewildered brother behind and walked, very calmly, back to his room.
That night, after everyone else was asleep, he left the fortress.
He went all the way to the end of the tunnel, pressed his hands to the leaf-covered wall, and started channeling his power. Stones rumbled and loosened, persuaded by Heaven’s magic. Chrysanthemums bloomed into life from within nests of orange sparks.
If only he had worked faster, tried harder, been better, he could have completed this sorry road sooner. If he had completed it sooner, he could have gone back to the capital to see Mother. Maybe he could have stopped her from dying. And even if he hadn’t, at least he would have accomplished something while she was still alive.
She would have known for certain he wasn’t worthless.
He put his hand to the wall and kept channeling, harder than he ever dared before. Hot magic from Heaven mixed with his blood and pulsed straight into the mountain.
Maybe he could finish the tunnel early. That would be sure to make Father notice. And maybe everyone else would notice too, and see that he wasn’t weak after all.
The stones kept rumbling, breaking apart, flowers bursting out of cracks in the ice. Their petals smelled like blood.
If he finished the tunnel early, he could go on his next missions early.Widening the Grand Canal. Building roads to Ji Province. Rebuilding the harbor in Tian City. The nation needed him.
More stones breaking, more flowers, more blood.
His sigil burned hot like a fire. The nation needed him so desperately, yet he kept letting Father and everyone else down, just like he had been doing since always.
Why are you so worthless, Maro?
Why are you so worthless?
Why…
Maro.
Maro, wake up.
Maro, please wake up.
