Page 63 of The Poet Empress
Rare emotion broke through the doctor’s mask of gravity. When he spoke next, his voice even wavered a little. “Maro’s stubbornness I can at least sympathize with. But yours, Master Ganji, is reprehensible.”
“These years are more important than ever, and you know why. The emperor does not have long to live, but he still has time to change his mind about his heir. If Maro lacks accomplishments during these critical years—”
“You would risk his life?” Doctor Shu snapped. “Just so you can rise with him in status?”
“I am thinking of him, not me.” Master Ganji was completely calm. “Besides, I am not convinced it is as bad as you say. Maro is tenacious. When he was younger, he used to study even through his worst fevers. Minor ailments and little pains do not bother him.”
“Little pains,” Doctor Shu echoed, disgusted. “Since you find yourself qualified to make diagnoses, then I do not know what you needmefor.” He turned to leave, but Master Ganji blocked his exit.
“Remember my instructions earlier.” The tutor’s voice was full of menace, and Maro wondered what he had threatened the doctor with. “You will tell nobody the true nature of his illness. You will tell them he’s sick because he’s not sleeping well, or because he’s skipping dinners, or because he’s working long days—but you will not mention the wordsHeavenly Fatigue.”
“I do not answer to you.” Doctor Shu looked past Master Ganji to Maro. “I answer to my prince and future emperor.”
Maro understood at once, and rose from his bed. He was only in his sleeping robes, and still exhausted, but he tried to put as much dignity in his voice as he could. “Doctor Shu, it is my will that you do as my tutor says. Tell nobody the truth of my condition, and dispel any rumors as they come.”
The doctor’s eyes lingered on him a long time, but at last he gave a resigned sigh. “If that is your will, my prince, then I will follow it. But know that you are running straight for a cliff’s edge. You may find yourself falling suddenly, fatally, without warning.”
“I understand, Doctor.”
“Monitor your symptoms closely. If you faint again, or if there is blood-cough, inform me at once. That will tell us you are close to the edge.”
“I understand, Doctor.”
The moment the doctor left with Master Ganji, and the door had closed behind them, Maro threw himself face-down onto his cot. He pounded both fists into the bed, so hard that it sent Niu Niu’s shell rattling on the bedside table. “Worthless,” he screamed into the blankets. “Why am I like this? Why can’t I be better? Why whywhy?”
“Maro.”
He whipped his head to where the timid voice came from. Cold horror seeped into his chest when he saw his brother crawl out from under his own cot, beneath a swath of fur blankets that had been hiding him.
“You were spying on me.”
“No.” Terren was crying. He must have been doing so for a long time, judging by how red his eyes were. “I stayed because I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Horror turned to fury.“Why wouldn’t I be?”
He flinched. “Because the grown-ups can’t be trusted. I didn’t want them in a room with you while you were sleeping and helpless.”
Maro wanted to pick him up and throw him against the wall. Terren was still small enough that he bet he could.
He didn’t. Instead, he swallowed a painful lump in his throat as he let his brother climb onto the bed beside him. A moment later, little arms wrapped around him, warm and unconditional. “Family is for keepingeach other safe,” Terren said, barely a whisper, and a moment later Maro was crying himself. Hot, shameful tears came gushing out, and even when he tried to hold them back, they kept coming anyway.
They stayed holding on to each other for a long time. Then Maro said, through his sniffles, “Promise me. Promise you won’t tell anyone.”
“I promise.”
He cried even harder. “I’m still mad at you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Say it…” He could barely choke out the words through his tears. “Say it three times and I’ll forgive you.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
37A VILLAGE GIRL’S DREAM
When I arrived back at the wedding banquet, Hesin came to tell me Terren had already retired for the night. “His Highness calls you join him in his wedding chamber.”
“Did he?” I asked.
