Page 142 of Eleanor & Grey
I wrapped her tightly in my arms and held on for dear life. “I got you, Karla. I got you. Just you, Lorelai, and me, OK? From this point on.”
“Just the three of us?” she asked with wonderment in her eyes.
“Yeah. Just the three of us. There is no one, and I mean no one, more important to me than you and your sister. You are my world, Karla. You are my complete and only world.”
I meant that down to the deepest parts of my soul.
I’d give up my world for my daughters.
I’d surrender it all if it meant their hearts would be OK.
54Eleanor
Later that night, Greyson came knocking at the front door of the guesthouse. I had been waiting there until I knew Karla was all right—there was no way I’d be able to drive home without knowing. As I opened the door, I wrapped my arms tightly around my body. “Hey, is she OK?”
“Yes and no,” he commented, looking down to the ground. “Claire is over there with her right now, and we’re looking up some treatment centers for her mental health. She, um—” he swallowed hard “—she had a bottle of pills with her, Ellie. She didn’t take any of them, but I think she thought about it. It turns out some bullies at school told her to kill herself.”
“Oh my gosh, Grey...” I couldn’t wrap my head around how people could be so cruel. Where did humans learn to be so dark? How could those words ever leave anyone’s lips?
“Everything she’s been through, on top of seeing you and me together, I think that was her breaking point. I can’t have her struggle anymore, Ellie, which is why I’m asking if you could—”
“It’s fine,” I told him, cutting him off. “I know it’s not good for her health for me to be here, so I’ll find a new place to work, Grey.”
“I just want you to know all this was more than a job, Ellie... you were more than the nanny.”
“I know, but it’s OK. Karla matters most. When I lost my mom, there was one big thing that kept me going each day, and I’m sure it will save Karla from drowning too.”
“And what’s that?”
“You. It was you, Greyson. And who knows? Maybe this is our thing. Maybe we come together when we need each other most, and then we move on again.”
“Yeah, maybe. There were moments when I thought we could be us again, though. But, like, more than us. A new kind of us where falling together would be our norm.”
I smiled. “Yeah, me too.”Dream a little dream with me.
“But the truth is, I’m not OK, because I can’t be OK if my daughters aren’t. Honestly, I don’t know when we’ll be OK, but I’m working on it, Ellie. I’m working on bringing my family back together. And then I want to find you again.”
My body began to shake as he said those words. “Grey...”
He shook his head and looked up toward me. “My world is better with you in it. I just need you to know that. I just can’t be what you deserve right now, but I promise to my core that I will work on becoming a man worthy enough to love you. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one I want to fall asleep beside. You’re the one I want to wake up to come morning. Now, I know that it’s not fair of me to ask you to wait, but—”
“I’m here, Greyson,” I cut in. “I’m here, waiting. It’s been over fifteen years since I’ve been dreaming of you,” I joked. “What’s a little more time?”
“So is this the point where we say goodbye again?” he asked. “It feels like we’re always saying goodbye after we say hello.”
“Not goodbye, just until we meet again. Until then, can we keep in touch? With email?”
“Yes, of course. Or you can call me, or anything. I’m always here for you, Ellie, even when I can’t physically be there.”
He moved in closer and enveloped his arms around me. I fell into him the same way I always did, effortlessly. Ourforeheads touched, and we took our inhales together. In that moment, our timing was right. He was there, and I was there, and we were one.
I shut my eyes and tried to tame my heartbeats. We were so close that I swore I felt his lips graze across mine.
He softly said, “I want to kiss you, but I can’t. Not now. Not yet. But I just need you to know, when I kiss you next...” His breath danced against my skin as his words spilled into my soul. “It will be forever.”
* * *
After watching everything that unraveled with Greyson and his family, I knew I had to make a trip of my own. As Greyson worked hard to fix his unit, I felt it was finally time for me to fix mine.
