Page 46 of Eleanor & Grey
I think that’s bullshit, though.
Be fucked up for a good minute.
Don’t pressure yourself to feel better until you’re ready.
I just wanted you to know I’m sorry.
She was what every kid dreamed of having as a parent. I know I did a million times over.
I’m just really fucking sorry.
Grey
* * *
FROM: [email protected]
DATE: May2, 2:02 AM
SUBJECT: Re: Sorry
Grey,
It’s two in the morning and everything hurts. By everything, I mean every single thing.
My legs ache. My back is sore. My throat is dry. My eyes burn. I can’t breathe.
Every time I think about it, I fall apart, and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s just a nonstop cycle of falling apart over and over again.
I just want her back. I’m going to be fucked up for a good minute... maybe even for quite a few.
Ellie
17Eleanor
“Hello?” My voice cracked as I said the words. It was three in the morning as I answered my cell phone, and after a day of crying, my vocal cords were exhausted.
“Hi, Ellie.” Greyson’s voice was low and tired. For a minute, I thought I was dreaming. “Were you sleeping?”
“No.” I sat up a bit in bed. “I can’t.”
“Yeah. That makes sense.”
“What are you doing up so late?”
“I couldn’t sleep. So I checked my email and figured I’d call. I just wanted to make sure you were breathing.”
Tears began rolling down my face as I clenched the phone to my ear. I closed my eyes. “I can’t talk, Grey. It hurts too much to talk.”
“That’s fine. We don’t have to talk. We can just keep our phones pressed to our ears. OK?”
I nodded as if he could see me. “OK.”
I lay back down and kept the cell phone glued to my ear. His breaths were light through the receiver, but I was thankful for them. At some point, I fell asleep, and when I woke up again, his snores were still coming through the speaker.
It was quiet, and he was snoring, and tears were falling down my cheeks as I listened.
