Page 146 of Eleanor & Grey
She groaned. “Dad, people don’t say dope anymore.”
“What are we saying nowadays? Fly? Hip? Happenin’? Groovy?” I mocked.
She rolled her eyes. “Just read the letter already.”
I placed the picture down and unfolded the sheet of paper. As my eyes darted across the page, I was reminded of every single thing I loved about Eleanor Gable.
Karla,
I feel like there are not enough words in the universe for me to express how sorry I am for how everything unfolded, but I am going to try my best to do exactly that. I guess the best way to approach this is to go back to the beginning.
I was in high school when I lost my mother to cancer. I was young, lost, and broken. That was exactly when your father came into my life. He showed up during my darkest days and brought me his light.
He knew of my hurting, and he called my scars beautiful.
He was my first love, but it wasn’t simply a romantic thing.He wasn’t even my boyfriend, and I could count on two fingers the number of times we kissed in our youth.
He was just him, I was me, and we were us.
Your father saved me. Without him, I’m certain I would’ve drowned.
Losing a mother is a unique kind of loss.
A mother understands your heartbeats when you cannot even interpret their sounds. They see you as magnificent even when you feel like you’re so unworthy of love. They calm the doubts that wreak havoc on your soul. They show you what unconditional love is from the day you take your first breath. Sometimes it feels like they know you better than you’ll ever know yourself, and then, one day, they are gone.
You feel cheated. Cheated on the things that they haven’t yet taught. Cheated on the lessons you still needed to learn. Cheated out of laughter, and smiles, and comfort, and love.
But what I’ve learned with time is that my mother is still around me. I see her in everything. Whenever there is beauty, that is where my mother exists.
I know she’s never gone, no matter what reality tries to tell me, because my heart is crafted from her love, and as long as it beats, she lives on.
So that heart of yours? The one you think is damaged and bruised and unworthy of existing? That heart is perfect, and it cannot wait to show you how much love is waiting for you in this world. And whenever you need that reminder, place your hands over your chest, and feel your mother’s love in every single beat.
You’re going to be OK, Karla.
You’re going to be more than OK.
But I need to ask you to do one thing for me: Watch after your father. The truth is, he’s going to need you more thanyou need him. Because he doesn’t have her heartbeats in his chest. No, his reminder of Nicole lives in your eyes. In your smile. In your love. You are saving your father. Without you, I’m certain he would drown.
So even if you never forgive me... even if you continue to hate me... even if I never cross your mind again... I want you to know that I am here for you. Day or night. Night or day. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there, Karla, because you mean that much to me. Not just as Greyson’s daughter, but as another human being who just needs to know they aren’t alone.
I’m one phone call away, and I will always answer.
I’m still here.
Eleanor
P.S. I know you’re hurting, but your scars are so beautiful.
I placed the letter down on the table and sat back a bit, stunned. “Wow.”
Karla nodded. “Yeah.” She raced her hands through her hair and then leaned toward me. “So... when are we going to go get her?”
“What?”
“Eleanor. When is she coming back?” I raised an eyebrow, and she gave me a dramatic sigh. “Dad, are you kidding me?! Didn’t you just read that letter?”
“Yes, and it was perfect, but that doesn’t mean Eleanor is coming back.”
