Page 133 of Eleanor & Grey
“It’s never a mistake telling me anything, Ellie, and you know that. I’m sorry if I upset you, but I’d rather upset you out of love than tell you what you want to hear. I love you, Ellie. You are the most important person in my life, and you are worthy of having more than someone’s mediocre love. The best kind of love is the kind that fills one up completely, leaving reassurance, not doubts. You deserve that. You deserve to be someone’s whole.”
“I really believe we’re meant to be, Shay.”
“I know, honey. I believe that, too, but just because two people are meant to be together doesn’t mean it has to happen right this second. Sometimes the best love stories are about those who waited.”
She said the words, and they broke my heart, because I knew she was right.
50Eleanor
“Are we just avoiding one another now?” Greyson asked as I walked past his bedroom door after putting Lorelai to bed for the night. He was unhooking the cuffs on his sleeves as he stared at me.
I took a few steps toward his room and stood in his doorway. “I’m sorry, I just...” I took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“Make me uncomfortable? Ellie, I called you another woman’s name. If anyone should be uncomfortable, it should be you. I’m so sorry.” He rolled up the sleeves of his button-down and sat on the edge of his bed. His hands gripped the edge of his mattress, and every muscle in his arms became visible.
I wished he’d stop looking so much like himself. I was still unable to get the taste of his lips off my mind, and the more I saw those gray eyes, the more I wanted them to stare into mine.
I shook my head, trying to keep myself together. “It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. We had so much wine that night anyway. Things got carried away...”
He lowered his head. “I wasn’t that drunk,” he truthfully whispered.
Sigh.
Me either.
When those eyes looked back to me, every butterfly came rushing back. I slightly parted my lips and reminded myself to breathe every now and then.
“I’m so sorry, Ellie,” he said quickly. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m horrified and such an asshole, and I don’t know what is happening between us...”
I wanted to push him to give us a chance.
I wanted to tell him we could try again.
I wanted to hold him.
To kiss him.
To have him as mine.
But I also knew that those thoughts were selfish and wrong. Also, I didn’t want to hurt him like that, because I knew he wasn’t fully healed from losing her. He wasn’t able to fully love, and I knew Shay was right, even though it made me sad. The best kind of love was the kind that filled one up completely, and Greyson couldn’t do that for me at this time.
If I couldn’t have all of his love yet, I didn’t want to keep falling for someone who wouldn’t be able to catch me.
“We go back,” I told him, walking over toward him and sitting beside him on the bed. My hands gripped the side of the mattress, just like him, and I gave him a slight nod. “We go back to how it was before that night.”
“But...” He stared at me so apologetically, and I wanted to shake the guilt in his eyes. I needed him to know that I fully grasped how much his soul was struggling. Greyson was at war with himself, fighting to move on while still trying to hold on to the past.
He wasn’t ready to let her go, and I had to respect that.
My love was patient. For him, I’d wait forever.
“It’s OK, Grey. I swear, I’m OK. We’re OK.”
He gave me a half grin, and I gave him the other half. “I meant everything I said, Ellie, about how I feel about you. I just want you to know that I meant all of those words.”
I believed him too. How could I not? He was my Grey. Thefirst boy to ever leave his mark on me. “I know you did, but you don’t need a lover right now, Greyson. You need a friend. Let me be that. Let me be your friend.”
He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “You have no clue how much I need that, how much I need a friend.”
