Page 129 of The Only Light Left Burning
“She’s trying.” I shrug. I can’t really blame Jamar and Taylor. They said they wanted to show their son, Eli, what the rest of the world looked like, but I’d bet that they just wanted some time away from Bittersharp. Maybe a way to show Eli where Jamar and Taylor met, where they traveled. The life they lived before he was in the world. And maybe that’s good for Eli, even if he is only five. I vividly remember things after the bug. But everything before is muddled.
Sometimes I remember my parents’ faces, but I don’t remember their names. If I try really hard, I can remember some scary parts from before everything fell.
But I do have one good memory of my parents. It was a holiday in the summer that we don’t even celebrate anymore. I had to havebeen maybe three or four. We sat on a blanket by a lake and the sun was setting. I remember it being exciting because usually I was in bed by the time the sky looked like that. I was tired, though, and wanted to go home. But then the sky exploded with lights, and it was scary, but none of the adults around me seemed to be scared. So I just watched. Dad kept asking me if I thought it was neat and I nodded, but that was a lie. I thought it was magic. Papa pulled me over into his lap while Dad said, “Ohh! Oh, it looks like the willow tree in our backyard! Wow, look, it’s a green one!” I remember a firework that looked like the willow tree in our backyard, but I don’t remember the willow tree.
“Well, keep an eye on her for us,” Andrew says. “If she says she’s leaving, tell her to come see me first. I’ll try to talk her out of it, or I’ll go with her.”
Jamie lets out a sound like he’s going to scold Andrew but stops himself.
“It’s fine,” Andrew tells him. “Between me and Cara, I think we can keep her calm. Things aren’t as scary out there as they used to be.”
I nod, remembering our own time on the road—and Andrew’s stories about him and Jamie traveling before they met us in the Keys. Everyone left after the flu knows we have to rely on each other if we want to survive.
Andrew continues, “Niki knows they’ll come back. Even if it takes a few years.”
Jamie reaches over and squeezes Andrew’s arm again. A show of agreement.
“Anyway,” Andrew says, attempting to wave away the bad vibes. “What about you? Masie didn’t want to join you today?”
Jamie laughs. “Yes, you made her feel very welcome last time.”
Andrew looks offended. “I wasverywelcoming. It’s not my fault she doesn’t understand my sense of humor yet.” He looks at me. “She does know I like her, right?”
“I told her you do, but she definitely thought you hated her.”
“Great, now I have to be on my best behavior.” He frowns as if it’s the worst thing we could ask of him.
“Well, don’t do that,” Jamie says, putting cheese on a piece of bread. “You’ll scare her off for good.” He hands the bread to Andrew, who takes it and bites into it.
We talk until the sun falls below the trees, then they walk me over to Apollo. Jamie gives him a soft pet and feeds him the end of the leftover bread.
“See you guys next week, right?” I ask.
Jamie looks to Andrew. “What’s next week?”
“Howie and the Hornblowers concert.”
I snort. “That is not their name.”
Andrew shrugs. “It should be. ‘The Bittersharp Band’ needs to workshop their shit before they take the show on the road.”
“Raven’s going to have to let him fulfill his dream of a nationwide tour after his fifth daughter is born and he has a mental breakdown.”
Jamie and Andrew laugh.
“Say goodbye, Luna.”
She gets pets from Andrew while Jamie hugs me goodbye. Then they swap. Andrew wraps his arm around me.
“Love ya, Kid.”
“Love you, too.”
I climb up onto Apollo, then whistle for Luna to follow. She runs ahead on the path. I look back to see Andrew and Jamie standing at the clearing, waving goodbye. Their arms around each other.
