Page 22 of Dirty Sweet Valentine
“Because I was a chickenshit. I was afraid you’d turn me down.” I let go of her hand so I can pull her close to me. “And I didn’t want to ruin the night with a bad ending.”
“Hmm.” She closes her eyes, as if taking my words in. After a moment she says, “I like that.”
“I like you.” My body presses flush against hers, so she has to already know. The evidence is jabbing her in the thigh.
But I have more that she doesn’t know. More that I want her to hear before I slide inside her for the second time tonight. “And I would have waited for you. I’m so glad you waited for me.”
I don’t give her much opportunity to respond with words as I roll her underneath me and tell her all the things my body can say much better than my mouth.
And, with her moans and sighs and the way her body reacts to my attention, I can feel her saying, “I’m glad I waited for you, too.”
Seven
Kira and I stayed up late into the night, talking and...other things. So it isn’t surprising that we sleep in the next morning. Activity in the kitchen wakes me up. I look over at the sleeping beauty next to me and consider curling back up in her warmth. But the need to pee gets me out of bed and heading to my private bathroom.
As I’m leaving the john, I hear the knob rattle on the bedroom door. Thank God I had locked it. Jared has no boundaries. And if I don’t address him now, he’ll never leave.
I grab a towel off the bathroom rack and wrap it around my waist. Then I open the door, but only enough for conversation.
As I guessed, it’s Jared standing on the other side.
“What’s up?” I try to be quiet without seeming like I’m being quiet. Like I’d told Kira, I’m not embarrassed to be seen with her, but I want to respect her privacy.
Jared tries to peer over my shoulder, obviously curious about why he isn’t being let in the room. “Hey, I didn’t hear you come in last night.”
“I wasn’t feeling very social so I snuck in the back and went to bed early.” Well, it’s somewhat true. I had felt social, just on a one-on-one basis. And the part about going to bed early was dead on.
“Huh. Okay.” Jared again tries to peek in. But the bed isn’t visible from his vantage point so he seems to zero in on what he can see instead. He nods at my towel. “Are you getting in the shower or do you sleep naked?”
I want to say, “None of your fucking beeswax,” but instead settle for something more roommate-friendly. “Why? Are you trying to check out my dick?”
“Shut up. I only wondered if there was a special reason for the attire. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.”
Jesus, isn’t it supposed to be girls who have the nosey reputation? I am not filling in Jared on my night with Kira. Especially when she’s still sleeping behind me. Thinking of her still in bed, I long to join her. “Did you need something, Jared?”
Jared leans against the doorframe. Dammit, he’s making himself comfortable. “Not really. Just checking in on you.”
“And I’m fine. So, maybe we can talk later. Like, when I’m dressed.” I know I sound snippy, but come on. We’re friends, but I still deserve some privacy.
“Sure. Later, then.” Except Jared makes no move to leave. “Hey, are you avoiding me?”
“No!” Just what I need—Jared to go all butt hurt.
“Then why are you being all weird and shit?”
I sigh. Better to smooth things over. “I’m being weird? I didn’t realize. I haven’t had any coffee yet or a shower so I’m still half asleep.”
“Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Got it. I’ll let you wake up.” Jared turns to go, then suddenly flips back to me. “Oh! How did you make out with that Princess Cherry Saver?”
I stiffen, and not where I want to be stiffening. Did Jared know I’d hooked up with Kira again? I don’t want her to think I’d only approached her with the intention of making it back to this room.
I lower my voice. “Uh, what do you mean?”
Jared does not follow suit, and continues at full volume. “You know. The story.”
I really must not be quite awake. Or I’m still lost in the fog of Kira because there’s some warning bell going off in the back of my head but I can’t seem to register what it is.
And without me stopping him, Jared keeps on talking. “That article you were gonna write about her not being a virgin? The exposé?”
Oh, yeah. That.
And I don’t have to wonder long if Kira is hearing this conversation.
“Exposé?” She stands behind me, wrapped in my comforter.
I turn and meet her eyes. In the span of a few seconds, her expression morphs through confusion, understanding, and finally settles on hurt.
God, seeing pain in Kira’s eyes was never what I’d intended.
And now her expression is changing again—to rage.
Panic runs through me like a wildfire. “No, Kira, it’s not what it sounds like. I mean, I was going to write about you and Cherry Savers and not having your cherry, but that was—”
“You were planning to tell everyone about what happened at the bar?” Her tone is drowning in fury.
I can’t deny it. Jared is right behind me, and had already spilled the truth. No, I’ll just have to be honest and hope for the best. “Yes, but not after—”
Honesty seems to not have been the most successful course of action. Kira is already gathering her clothes off the floor.
“Stop. Talk to me.” My pleading doesn’t halt her in the least. I step in front of her, one hand on her shoulder, the other still gripping the towel at my waist. “Come on, Kira. I can explain.”
She meets my eyes and I almost wish she hadn’t. It isn’t just rage I can see there, but pain. “Were you or were you not going to expose a very private thing about me—a thing that would hurt and embarrass me—to the entire school? Slut-shaming me in a way that could follow me for the rest of my life?”
With all my heart I want to say I wouldn’t have done it. But at one point, for at least an hour of my day, I had planned on it. Sincerely planned on doing this awful thing, that’s so much more awful when I look at it through her eyes. I lower mine. “Yes. I was.”
Kira brushes past me into the bathroom.
I follow after her. “But I changed my mind.” She slams the door in my face, nearly hitting me in the nose.
Jared chuckles behind me, reminding me that we have an audience. I turn and glare at my roommate, but that’s all the energy I have to expend on Jared for the moment. My concern is Kira.
Speaking at the door between us, I continue to beg for forgiveness. “I’m sorry, Kira. It was a stupid lack of judgment on my part. But I didn’t do it. I wouldn’t have done it.” God, I hope she believes me when I’m not so sure that’s the whole truth. If we hadn’t gone out to coffee, if she hadn’t been so charming and fun, would I have still abandoned my quest?
I can’t be sure.
The door opens and for a moment my spirits rise.
But Kira isn’t coming out to talk to me. She’s dressed and ready to leave.
Chase Matthews Fucked This All Up.
“Kira, wait.” While she looks for her keys and boots, I scramble to find a pair of jeans. “Let me explain. Or make it up to you. I’m sorry!”
Without so much as a goodbye, she brushes past Jared and is out the door.
Fuck! I don’t even bother to do up my pants as I follow after her. “Goddammit, Jared,” I say as I shove roughly past him.
“Hey. I didn’t know anyone was here. Maybe you should have told me.” Jared obviously finds the whole thing entertaining. I’m going to look for a new place to live as soon as I straighten this mess out.
“Jesus.” I curse under my breath, running out the back door after the girl I’ve become pretty attached to. “Kira, wait!”
But she’s already peeling out of the driveway.
“Damn, that girl drives fast.” Jared had apparently followed me outside. “In more ways than one.” He laughs.
“
Shut up, Jared.”
“Sorry, man.”
