Page 98 of The Ring
“What if someone needs to pee?”
She smirks. “They can hold it or go complain to the owner.”
West.
I chuckle. After what he told me an hour ago, I wouldn’t care if someone went to complain to him. In fact, I’d rejoice in that.
I take a deep breath. “It’s just…” I exhale. “When I told Benedict I loved him, I thought it would make me stop loving TJ.” I came here seeing this as a test—to see how I really felt about TJ after acknowledging my feelings for Benedict. I thought the love for him would be gone. But I failed.
How stupid was I to think that uttering three words would, like magic, make my feelings for TJ disappear? Love isn’t a lamp you can turn on and off at will. It turns on and off when it wants to, and it feels like mine for TJ will never go off.
I continue, my voice faltering, “But I didn’t. I still love him, but I also love Benedict, just…”
Annabelle finishes for me, “Not as much as you love TJ.”
I nod, feeling a lump form in my throat. “Yeah,” I whisper.
I really thought I loved Benedict—if not more than TJ, then at least the same. But having them both in the same room, I could compare, and the difference is abysmal. It’s like TJ is thecigarette, and Benedict is the nicotine patch people use to quit smoking. It doesn’t hit as hard as the cigarette, but it’s the next best thing.
Tears well up in my eyes, and I swipe them away, trying to hold myself together as I voice one of my most terrifying thoughts. “What if every relationship I ever have will always be less than what I had with TJ?” The words hang heavy in the air, suffocating.
Annabelle pulls me into a hug, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “It won’t be. I promise,” she says softly, as she pats my back.
Maybe she’s right, maybe she’s not. But the doubt lingers. I was lucky to find one great love in my life—some people never find one in their whole lifetime. So, what are realistically the chances I’d ever find a second one?
Someone tries to open the door, and when that fails, they start knocking.
“It’s occupied!” Annabelle shouts, still hugging me.
Chapter 58
TJ
Iwas about to go look for Weberly. Laurie had just left me alone in the booth to circle the club and I realised it had been almost an hour since Weberly went to the loo. But as I get up, I see her walking towards me with a genuine smile on her face, and I sit back down.
What the hell?
In all the time I have known her, I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen her truly smile.Zero.
“Where have you been all this time?” I ask her as she reaches me.
I will never care for her the way I do for Cornelia, but we’ve reached a point where I consider her a friend.
Weberly stands in front of me, not bothering to sit down.
“In the loo. There’s a big line,” she says, sounding oddly cheerful.
Something must have happened in there to make her this fucking happy. If she hadn’t told me she doesn’t do drugs, I’d think she snorted a line in there. Maybe she fucked someone instead. I wouldn’t mind either scenario.
She offers me her hand. “Let’s go do something fun.”
I take it and rise from the booth. I wouldn’t mind a distraction—anything to take my mind off the fact that Cornelia’s here, all cosy with Benedict.
Weberly is leading us straight to the bar counter, where Cornelia is alone, sipping on a martini. I saw her with Benedict a few minutes ago, so I’m guessing he’s gone to the loo and she’s waiting for him to come back or something.
“What the fuck?” I mutter to Weberly.
“It’ll be fun, trust me,” she tells me.
