Page 124 of Shattered Deceit

I shook my head. I wouldn’t. If Noah wasn’t here, then there was no reason for me to be here either anymore.

At Beckett’s house, he made sure to give me a place that I could go that was just for me, if I were to need a break from anyone. But there, I also had the option to kneel for Sir while he worked, and just be. Which, I had done once or twice. It was the perfect time to settle my thoughts without having to talk. It was the best form of therapy I’d ever tried.

I had been surprised Beckett made more than enough money to support four or five people if he wanted. His house was paid for, having been left to him after his uncle had passed away many years ago. Then, to find out he wrote best-selling books. No wonder why he understood me in a way I never would have guessed.

I had recently cut my hours in half at the bar. Noah was more than happy to hear that. I was tired of working so many hours, which was taking me away from exploring different things I could enjoy if I just had more time.

I still wasn’t the type of person who enjoyed hobbies. I preferred serving Sir by cleaning the house, keeping him company, or trying new things that he thought I might like.

Also, it was his idea that I restart therapy with someone who didn’t know my history. That was hard, but so far it wasn't horrible. Dr. Hayes was nice enough and didn’t push more than what I could handle. He was also part of the BDSM community that Beckett was introducing Noah and me into slowly.

Overall, four months had changed my life. I knew how quickly things could change in a matter of seconds. And while normally, it wasn’t all good, this time it was. These were good changes.

Beckett cared for me and felt the same pull towards me that I did him for so long. He was just better at not acting out like I had. And Noah, well if he wanted a person, he damn sure let that person know.

I still had more healing to do, more learning how to cope with the aftermath of being sold and treated like cattle. And I was getting there, day by day.

I’d always have bad days. But the good ones would now outweigh them. I had Noah and Beckett. I had my family. I had Dakota and Allister. All of them were important to me in ways that I never appreciated before now.

Exploring things with Beckett and Noah was challenging at times, but the end result was worth it. These days, I tried to not let myself fall into subspace so easily, but most of the time, it came whether I want it to or not. Sometimes, it was from a simple touch of Sir, a hand wrapped around my throat when I got a bit too mouthy, or just an order to fall to my knees and serve. But Beckett always knew when I needed him.

I stopped fighting the desires. I stopped trying to talk myself out of allowing him to steer me where I needed to go.

And now, three months later, I accepted his help. I surrendered to him, knowing there was never going to be anyone else. No other man would get me to kneel, to serve, like Sir did. He called to my soul. He spoke to my heart.

Beckett was as much my Sir as he was Noah’s Daddy.

I fit in the middle perfectly.

With one last look over the apartment, it felt like a part of my life was closing. A new chapter was starting and with it, new adventures.

Whatever may happen, however many panic attacks I’d deal with, Beckett and Noah would be there every step of the way.

THE END