Page 74 of A Barista's Guide to Love & Larceny
“Nope. Just one arm.”
“See?” Dani said, desperate for him to show some sign of how he was feeling. “It doesn’t seem to fall into any kind of category. It just… is.”
The cold was getting to her now, her cheeks pink with the close scrutiny of the air and Kass alike. His face was expressionless, his grip on her hand loose and unconvincing in his lap. “Please say something,” she begged.
Kass stirred at that, as if he had forgotten she was there. “I guess that explains the feeling I get around you sometimes.”
“What feeling?”
“Like my brain’s about to sneeze?” He looked at her. “I just never saw the pattern in it.”
“And now that you do?”
Kass took a breath. “And now I think that you have a very unique gift,” he said. “I don’t necessarily get it, and I don’t think your parents got it, either, but it’s just one more amazing thing about you, Dani, so I’m not really surprised.” He smiled, then brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it.
Relief melted through her. “You’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad at you for being you?” he asked in sincere bewilderment. “I want to tell you everything anyway, so it doesn’t bother me.”
Dani took her hand back so she could seize his perfect, beautiful face and kiss him soundly on the mouth. When she pulled away, she realized she’d done a poor job of holding back her tears. He lifted his mittened thumbs to her cheeks to pat them dry. “I may not have known you long, but I can tell you what I see, and what I see is special. You don’t have to be good at something specific—oranything, for that matter, to be valuable. You are worth so much, Dani. Everything you are. Filter or no filter.”
She was crying in earnest now. “That’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me,” she said.
“You deserve every bit of it and more.” She wished he knew just how much she didn’t. She was so glad he didn’t know how much she didn’t. “You inspire me. No, I’m serious,” he said when she made a face. “You know how I was telling you about the fight with my dad? You suggested trying to find a compromise and that got me thinking. I had a talk with him, and when I have to declare next year, I’m going to create my own major—a mix of the classes he wants me to take and the ones I actually care about.”
“For real?” Dani brightened, forgetting her misery for a moment. “I didn’t even know you could make your own major.”
“You have to get a proposal approved first, but yeah. I’ve got enough time to come up with something they can’t refuse. If it works, it’ll mean my dad’s satisfied that I’m learning the skills I need to go corporate after school, and I’m satisfied with letting him believe that till graduation. I’ll fightthatbattle when the time comes.”
“Kass, that’s amazing. I mean it, I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks. I wouldn’t have thought of it without you. Which reminds me,” Kass said, turning to grab his backpack, which was sitting on the grass. “I’ve been waiting for the right moment to givethis to you, and now seems like as good a time as any. Here.” He took out a parcel wrapped in brown paper, roughly the size and shape of a small book, and held it out to her. She wiped her face on the back of her sleeve and took the unexpected gift.
“I don’t know what to say,” she said.
“Don’t say anything, then,” he said, smiling. “Open it!”
Dani obeyed, unwrapping the paper with the utmost care, which seemed to grate at Kass’s patience. Her breath caught when she saw what lay within. It wasn’t a book at all, but an ornately carved wooden box. Two crossed torches were engraved in loving detail on the lid, bordered by the Greek meander of knot work, and when Dani lifted the gift from its wrappings, she saw more designs etched along the sides, including a phrase in fine, delicate script:You are worth a dream.
She looked up at him. “You made this?”
“Yeah. For your tarot cards. I used walnut, which is supposed to promote inner healing and magical self-inquiry, which is kind of what tarot is, from what I’ve gathered. I’ve heard you invoke Hecate before, she’s your patron goddess, right?” She nodded. “The torches are her symbol—I mean, duh, not that I need to tell you that. And the phrase is just something I came up with, after the first night we talked, and you said you didn’t have anything that was worth a dream. I disagree.”
“Kass,” Dani said, at a loss for words.
“Yeah? Do you like it?”
She lunged for him and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in the clean-smelling warmth of his collar, where he couldn’t see her tears flowing again. “I love it,” she whispered. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me. Ever. Thank you.”
His arms drew tight around her waist, and that fragile, frozen, starlit moment was worth more to her than all the dreams in the multiverse.
Twenty-Seven
Predictably, Dani’sone last datemethod had backfired on her: The idea of ruining what she and Kass had was even more painful than it had been before. That night, she’d let him walk her home, kiss her sweetly on the sidewalk, and saysee you soon. Then she’d dissolved yet again into tears on the other side of the door. Once her crying had subsided, she’d nestled her favorite tarot deck safely inside the box he’d made for her and traced the cursive carved into the side.
You are worth a dream.
She didn’t feel worth a dream in that moment. She just felt like a piece of shit.
