Page 35 of Most Eligible
2.Have you ever had sex with more than one person at the same time?
3.How many times do you engage in self-pleasure per week?
That’s just the first three. The quiz is five pages long. I flip to the last question.
45. How big do you think Roland’s penis is?
“What the—” I breathe. How is this supposed to test physical compatibility? I glance up at Lainey and Dr. Dora whispering together in the corner. Maybe the whole point of this is to drive us into hysterics with lust for Roland.
“I think I have a bit of an advantage with the last question,” Roland says, laughing.
Addison, on the couch beside Nina, cranes her neck, staring eagle-eyed at Roland’s crotch.
“Hey, no cheating!” Olie snaps, holding her clipboard in front of Addison’s face.
Addison jerks back, rubbing her nose. “Ow! Jeez, watch it!”
“Five more minutes!” Dr. Dora calls.
I haven’t even filled out the first question. Panicking, I scribble “Missionary,” and move on to question two.
“Do you think this means, like, having a threesome?” I whisper to Olie. “Or having an open relationship?”
She shrugs, already at the bottom of the first sheet of paper. I peek at her answer for question two. “Yes.”
I suppose it doesn’t make a difference for me either, so I write “No,” then prudently skip question three. Answering honestly isn’t the problem. The problem is answering in a way that will make me seem desirable but not slutty, modest but not prudish. In short: wife material.
Olie cackles, looking at my clipboard. “Missionary,” she snickers.
My cheeks burn but I recover quickly, shrugging and flashing her a grin as I glance at Rhett, standing by the floor-to-ceiling windows. I hope he didn’t hear Olie.
A lock of hair falls over his forehead as his eyes darken. It’s all there, all still right there in the back of my mind. His fingers tracing a slow jazz rhythm over my legs, hips, neck. His weight stretching over me like a blanket.
My cheeks heat and I swallow the memory. It’s infuriatinghow he can get a rise out of me without even trying, especially since I know he doesn’t want me here.
“Okay, time’s up!” Dr. Dora says. I startle, blinking away from Rhett. “Hand in your papers!”
Dr. Dora marches up in front of us, holds up the quizzes, and then dramatically tears them in half. She walks over to a trash can and dumps them in.
“Sexual compatibility isn’t about what’s up here,” she says, tapping her head. “It’s about what’s down here.” She reaches down and starts unbuttoning her khakis, then stops and laughs. “Just kidding. But seriously. It’s about what your body is feeling. Everybody up!”
I’m not the only one gaping at her as we shuffle to our feet.
“Damn,” Roland says, half laughing. “I was really looking forward to hearing some of the girls’ answers.”
“Well, perhaps you’ll get a chance to ask them yourself later on,” Dr. Dora says. “I’m sure these fine women would share just about anything with you.” She winks and arranges the ten of us plus Roland in a circle, then drums her finger on her chin. “Let’s get one more for an even number. Mr. Auburn, why don’t you join us?”
All eyes turn to Rhett, skulking in the corner of the room.
“No thanks,” he says, but Norbert shoves him forward and he stumbles into the circle between me and Nina.
“I’m sure you all feel it,” Dr. Dora says seriously. “The sexual energy in the room is palpable. Even I can feel it.”
“I bet she can always feel it,” Olie mutters.
“You are all one connected sexual body,” Dr. Dora continues. “All joined by one desire, one deep yearning.” She walks over to Roland and frames his face in her hands. “For this man right here.”
Rhett clears his throat and Dr. Dora glances at him. “Even you, Mr. Auburn,” she says. “I’m sure you can agree that Roland is a model specimen.”
