Page 76 of Most Eligible
—Shacking Up: The Definitive, Unauthorized Guide to WinningLove Shack
Chapter Twenty-Five
“She almost stabbed me!” Addison sobs. She’s wrapped in a blanket in the living room with several cameras pointed at her. Apparently having someone (Olie) fall on you from the roof means you no longer have to be naked. I should try it sometime.
“I was standing on the veranda waiting for her to come down and—and—” Addison hiccups. “And then she attacked me!”
“Someone make her a cup of tea,” Lainey barks.
She deposits Addison in a squashy armchair by the fireplace and fusses over her blanket. Philippa and Chloe jog in through the open back doors, a large paint splatter covering Chloe’s stomach.
“I didn’t attack you,” Olie says impatiently. She pulls herself free from Norbert’s grip. “I was trying to sneak into your room from the roof—”
“To kill me!” Addison shrieks.
“No!” Olie says. “You weren’t even in there.” She reaches into the side of her boot and pulls out a warped paperback, then tosses it on the table.
Shacking Up: The Definitive, Unauthorized Guide to WinningLove Shack stares up at us.
“I was going to put that in your room,” Olie says. She meetsmy eyes, and I give her a small smile, but it’s hard when she looks so thoroughly defeated.
“Wuzgoingon?” Roland skids Tom Cruise–style into the room in his socks and boxers, white T-shirt rumpled like he just rolled out of bed.
“Put some pants on,” Lainey snaps. A PA hurries over with a pair of pants, and Roland hobbles into them. “Olie, I’m incredibly disappointed. Trying to sabotage another contestant goes against the foundations of sisterhood thatLove Shackis based on.”
Philippa snorts, earning her a glare from Lainey.
“You’ve left me no choice,” Lainey continues, turning back to Olie. My breath gets shallow. Is Olie about to be kicked out? “Since it seems that the rules of this show mean nothing to you, you can’t be upset when I change some rules too. We’re doing the elimination ceremony early—now.”
“Wait, wh—” Roland starts, his eyes ping-ponging between Lainey and Olie, but Lainey cuts him off.
“Need I remind you who’s in charge,Mr.Marchetti?”
He gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing visibly.
“We’re doing the ceremony now?” Monica asks, her voice trembling. “Shouldn’t we change first?”
“No need,” Lainey says brusquely. “Now let’s get started.” She signals to get the cameras rolling as we arrange ourselves in the customary semicircle.
It feels like years ago that there were twenty of us standing in the rose garden in Malibu, fresh-faced and innocent. But now, the aesthetics couldn’t be more different. Our dirty bare-bones outfits are a far cry from the elegant gownsLove Shackviewers are used to. And no one’s smiling this time.
Of the six of us, Philippa is the only one who seems unscathed. Everyone else looks like they’ve just escaped a realityTV torture chamber. Monica has a large paint splatter on her back and has lost one of her boots. Chloe’s entire stomach is covered in neon green. Addison looks downright traumatized. And Olie… well, Olie has twigs in her hair and a large scrape on her chin, not to mention the rainbow of paint covering her from head to foot.
Even Roland looks miserable. Lainey pulls him and Rhett off to the side and starts whispering furiously, but I can’t make out what she’s saying. When they return, Roland’s jaw is trembling.
“Ladies,” Rhett says, “it’s been quite a day. Per the rules of the game, we don’t quite have a winner, but I’m afraid we do have to say goodbye to one woman right away as she was hit first during paintball: Chloe.”
I fight to keep my face impassive as Chloe steps forward and takes Roland’s hand.
“Thank you for this opportunity,” she says. “As sad as I am to leave, I know it’s been worth it.” She steals a glance back at us but stays focused on Philippa, whose eyes are glistening. “Because I really did find love,” Chloe continues, dropping Roland’s hand.
I blink in confusion as Chloe walks back to us, but as she takes Philippa’s hand, it clicks.
“Will you come home with me?” Chloe asks.
Philippa takes Chloe’s hand and nods, tears streaming down her face.
My throat is tight as they both hug me goodbye and leave to whatever TV afterlife (or likely, SUV ride to the airport) awaits them.
