“And your own family—can you tell me about them? How has your parents’ divorce affected your approach to relationships?”
It’s like a bass drop. This is what she wanted all along.
I stare down at my hands, trying to prepare myself for an emotional moment.
“I think watching my parents go through that has made me more wary of relationships,” I say honestly. “They split up when I was twelve, but things were rocky for a long time before that and they kept holding on—maybe for me, I’m not sure. I don’t want to end up like that.”
Anxiety pools in my gut. The truth would be too much for the cameras—that I’m so terrified of winding up like my parents that I’ve needed to become fiercely independent, so unwilling to trust anyone else with my heart that if I made it to the end and married Roland, he’d be my longest romantic relationship to date. So instead, I pivot my anxiety into something the cameras can understand: sadness.
I sniffle and wipe my eyes. “It was just… really hard.” Lainey leans forward, watching me intently. “I knew things weren’t great between them, but when my dad finally moved out, it felt like he was giving up on their relationship—on me.” My voice catches with the brutal honesty of it. I almost don’t say the next words—it’s not fair to my dad or, frankly, to me. But I have to. “He didn’t even tell me where he was going.”
I found out where my dad was going, of course. But the initial hurt of waking up to find boxes in the hall instead of his shoes didn’t subside easily.
I’ve never told anyone how I felt as I watched my dad packing up his things, how suddenly, his life seemed so small, so lonely, if it could be stuffed into the back seat of a sedan. I didn’t tell my mom, because her emotions were already big enough for the both of us. I never even told Serena.
So why the fuck am I telling Lainey? A tear squeezes out of my eye, and I let it roll down my cheek, then take a few seconds to pull myself together. “But I know now that it was for the best. I got to rebuild my relationships with both of them and I feelreally lucky to have two loving parents. That’s more than a lot of people have.”
Lainey sniffs, looking a little disappointed. Maybe she wanted me to completely lose it on camera. “And how do you think your parents would react to you getting engaged?”
“I know they’ll support me unconditionally when I fall in love.” This, at least, I know is true.
Immediately, she snaps up the bait. “So you’re falling in love with Roland?”
I almost balk at her. Love? It’s been seven days. But I know some of the other women have already said it. Deprive the contestants of everything except the lead, and they can’t help but pine over him. If he’s all you see, you’re sure to fall in love.
“It must be hard to be away from your family and friends,” Lainey says without waiting for me to answer her previous question.
“It’s only been a week.” And it’s harder being away from Presley than from anyone else I left behind.
“If you make it to Family Week, you’ll get to see them,” she says.
The idea of involving my parents in this charade is the last thing I want to do.
Lainey leans forward. “I’m sure there’s so much you want to tell them.”
I frown—what’s she getting at?
“Have you had any contact with anyone outside the house?” she asks delicately. My eyes widen. How could she possibly—
“No, of course not,” I say quickly. “I don’t even know how I’d manage that.” A prepaid phone plan. A burner.
“Okay,” she says, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. She bends down and picks up a magazine. The bright logo at the top startles me—Us Weekly. Flipping to a page in the middle, sheshows me a page of text under a bold headline: RHETTAUBURN IS BACK IN THESHACK.
My heart hammers as I scan the page:
Sources have confirmed thatLove Shackseason 18 lead Rhett Auburn has returned to the mansion to host season 20 and help tennis pro Roland Marchetti find love. Just last year, the singer’s ownLove Shackromance with Cassidy Foley ended in heartbreak. Other details on season 20 remain a mystery, including the lineup of women vying for Marchetti’s heart.
“I—I didn’t,” I stammer. “I don’t know anything about that.” There are any number of people who could have leaked this information—I didn’t even know it was supposed to be a secret. Serena knows how important this is—she wouldn’t have told a soul.
I may not be responsible for this breach, but when I get out of here, I’ll make sureLove Shackis in the headlines again. Though with the expression on Lainey’s face, I might not make it out to write anything at all. Maybe she has a lethal syringe hidden in her bra. Or maybe she’s hoping the lack of sleep and sustenance will finish me off naturally. Either way, she’s terrified me to my core.
She raises an eyebrow at me and I shake my head.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
Pursing her lips, she sets the magazine down. “I didn’t think so,” she says. “But we have to ask. Especially with you being a journalist, you know.”