Page 98 of Badd Love
I lifted the hoodie up and off, leaving her in a white baby doll tee and tight black leggings; she wasn't wearing a bra, and her heavy tits bulged against the confines of the shirt, her erect nipples standing out hard.
"No bra, huh?"
"Nope," she whispered. "I like wearing baggy hoodies so I can go braless."
"Can't you just…I dunno…not wear a bra and fuck what other people think?"
She snickered. "Sounds nice, but no. Not with tits as big as mine. Men get weird, and women get judgmental. It's just easier to keep 'em in titty jail for the most part. But since I was just driving alone, I went for comfort. I'd expected to have a few minutes to change before I saw anyone, least of all you."
I touched her lips. "You're babbling. I'm a fan of the no bra look."
She smirked. "You just like looking at my giant bazingas."
"Facts," I whispered, peeling the tight white stretchy garment up and off, baring said bazingas. "But not just looking at them."
She blinked hard, looking away and crossing her arms over her chest before backing out of my reach. "Sorry, I…I'm not—I don't feel—" she shook her head, stepping past me away from the window with her arms crossed. "I know I must be giving you emotional whiplash. I'm horny, I'm crying, I'm confident, I'm insecure, I'm needy, I'm bitchy, I'm pushy, I'm sweet…" A shrug as she trailed off.
I stayed where I was, giving her space. "Linz, try to hear me, please."
She turned her head in my direction, looking at me over her shoulder without turning around. "I am, Dane."
"No, you're hearing me with your ears. I need you to listen to me with your heart."
She swallowed. "Trying."
"I love you as you are. Right now. If that's all over the place, that's okay."
She took a deep breath and held it. Tipped her head back, blinking tearfully at the ceiling. "Fuck. You're too good to be true."
"I'm not. I'm just this guy, Linz. I just happen to be in love with you. I promise, live with me long enough, and you'll find more than a few things about me that will drive you absolutely fucking bananas."
"I want to feel sexy, not…whatever this bullshit is."
"You don't need to be sexy all the time."
"It's all I'm good for, Dane."
"Oh, fuck that," I snapped, angry, now. "What the fuck isthat?"
"What else do I have? What else am I good at?"
"Being a good human?" I said, not bothering to hide the anger in my voice. "Being a good friend? You're smart. You'rekind. You're courageous. You're fucking hysterically funny. You're a hard worker."
“Yeah, but…" She shook her head. "What am I…what am I doing? Where am I going? Why am I here?"
I laughed. “God, Linz. You thinkIknow any of that? I don't fucking know! I don't know the answers to that shit myself. I wish to god I did, but I don't. I don't need you to have all that together, babe. All I need from you is you! All of you, all in, no matter what. We can be confused about life and purpose together. We can figure out where we're going together. We're not always going to feel sexy. I think…" I sighed. "I'm not sure how to say this."
She barked a sarcastic laugh. "Bluntly. And now I'm scared."
I closed the distance between us by a few feet but stayed out of touching distance. "I think you hide behind sex."
She huffed. "I don't even know what that means."
"You're used to being able to use sex to shift the focus away from feelings. Instead of being vulnerable, you make it sexy. And guys being guys, we fall for it every time. Mostly because we're just as scared of big feelings as you are."
She huffed again. "You—that's—"
"I'm not falling for it." I moved closer. "Not because I don't want that with you, obviously I do."
