Page 47 of Badd Love
He face-palmed himself. "Doo-Dee was six inches tall and weighed half a pound, and the photo was on the wall at head height." Doo-Dee was their mini-poodle/Pomeranian mix dog, now gone over the Rainbow Bridge. She was a sweet little dog; the idea that she could have broken a picture on the wall was a comically implausible claim.
"Dad didn't buy it, obviously but he couldn'tproveit was us. We weren't allowed to play bop-sock in the basement anymore after that, though." Jax sighed. “So was it, like, justwhoooop, finger up the butt, or…?"
I groaned. "I shouldn't have said anything."
"No, but you did. I'm not gonna let it go."
"Two words, and that's all you get."
"Okay?"
"Prostate milking."
He spluttered. "Oh fuck, man. She's intothat?”
“Huh?"
“It's a whole thing. Like, a whole subgenre of kink."
"I dunno about any of that, man. It was, like, maybe the first knuckle while jerking me off. It wasn't even kinky. It just felt fucking incredible. Best orgasm of my life."
"For real?"
"Fuck yes. I couldn't walk straight for like ten minutes."
"Huh. Maybe I should try that sometime."
"I'll get you a dildo for your next birthday," I said, laughing.
"No, you won't."
"Are you seeing anyone?" I asked.
"We aren't changing the subject, Dane. Still not understanding how that led to a profession of love followed by a French exit."
"It wasn't a French exit. I looked directly at her, told her I loved her, and then left."
"Whatever. Soagain—how do you go from a butthole-fingering handjob to I love you?"
"It's complicated."
"Is it?"
"She…I…we…" I sat up slowly, with effort, worked unsteadily to my feet, and took a long piss over the side; I sat back down next to Jax and tried again. "We talked. She was...not freaking out but…I dunno. She was conflicted. We have chemistry. Real deal shit. Not just physical chemistry. Deep shit. The unexplainable thing our parents all have—we have that. She's just in denial because of whatever happened and how bad it fucked her up. Her words, not mine—‘I’m fucked up,’ that's what she says all the time. Like she…she doesn't think she can have…" I shrugged. “Anything real, I guess. I don’t know, she won't elaborate."
Jax didn't reply for a while. "And you thought declaring your undying love was the move, huh?"
I stared at him. “I don't like how you said that."
"Oh, like you're an idiot?"
"Says the guy who—" I clapped my teeth together, deciding against that particular dig.
"You were about to be a meany-head, weren't you?" Jax guessed.
"Yep."
"I'm not in love with Em anymore. It's residual affection and latent attraction, because she is objectively hot."
