Page 33 of Badd Love
"Please don't."
He staggered around the foot end of the bed, wobbling on unsteady legs like a newborn colt, toppling against the bathroom door frame, and caroming off it. He reached the toilet and sat down heavily, and I heard him cut loose with a sigh of relief. He pissed for what seemed like a solid two minutes. I heard the sink go as he cleaned himself up.
During that time, panic filled me.
It started as a tightening in my belly. And then my hands went numb and started tingling, and my mouth went dry, and my throat tightened so I couldn't swallow, and I broke out in a cold sweat, breath trapped in my lungs and below the hot knot in my throat.
What did I just do?
I let him eat me out. I let him give meanotherorgasm—threeof them, each one so intense I was still shaky.
I jerked him off. I put my finger in his asshole.
Stupidest of all, Ikissed him.
He's gonna want things, now.
Answers.
History.
Feelings.
I let him into my home.
I slept with him—cuddled. Was comforted. I slept like a damn baby.
We wereintimate.
I'd almost have been better off just fucking him, I'm starting to think. That may have been less intimate than what we just shared.
What I just did.
Fuck.
I heard him moving, but my eyes were hazed with hot tears, and I couldn't breathe and couldn't move. This wasn't a BJ panic attack; this was a full-on emotional meltdown. Again.
The poor man has seen me like this more than he's seen me normal.
"Linz?" His voice was soft and concerned.
A warm, wet washcloth cleaned my hands, my folds, tenderly, gently, softly.
I shook my head. "No. No. No."
"No, what, Linz?"
"Don't. Don't. You can't."
"Can't what?"
"Be sweet."
"You'd rather I be a jerk?"
"Yes,” I hissed.
"Sorry, babe. No can do." He lifted me, and then I was curled up in a ball in his arms.
