Page 92 of Badd Love
"If you did hook up with someone since we saw each other last, yes, I would be…upset. It'd hurt. But I know I have no right to expect you to have, I dunno…been faithful to me when I threw you out of my house the way I did."
"In the spirit of honesty," Dane said, "I went on a date with a girl I met at school. We chatted in the cafeteria for an hour, she asked me to lunch the next day, and I went." My heart twisted in my chest, rose to sit hot and acidic in my throat. "I didn't make it past the appetizers. I had precisely three mozzarella sticks, realized there was absolutely no chance of anything with her or anyone else, and left."
"Oh no! The poor girl," I exclaimed, trying not to sound too happy. "What did you tell her?"
"Just that I was sorry, it wasn't going to work, and I had to go." He grinned. "If you were trying to look or sound sad about that, you also should give up any dreams of being an actress."
I sighed. "You really can read me like a book, huh?"
He took my hand, entwining our fingers. "Yes. I can."
"I don't know how I feel about that."
"You should feel good about it. I don't mean that I'm a mind reader or that I know everything there is to know about you. But I can see things on your face. I can see what you're feeling. I may not be right, but I can see the feelings, and honestly, that's an improvement. You were pretty hard to read, before."
"I didn't want to be seen," I said.
"Well, I see you."
"I know you do." I licked my lips, watched his eyes follow the path of my tongue.
"I'm glad you showed up," he whispered.
"I wasn't sure you would be. I don't feel like I deserve to—"
"I'm gonna stop you right there," he said. "Because that's bullshit. You were taking care of yourself. You couldn't be with me. You did the right thing by me—if you'd tried to force the issue, tried to just gut through all the shit you'd never dealt with, eventually, even if things maybe started out good between us, it'd have fallen apart."
A shadow slid across the doorway—his mother filling the space. She was dressed in a pair of navy slacks and a pale gray fitted sweater, her auburn hair loose and wavy around her shoulders. She was beautiful, Dane's mother. Classy, sexy, and beautiful. Intimidatingly so. I felt frumpy in my three-day-old leggings, a crusty sports bra that doesn't really support the girls, and an XXL hoodie with Eeyore on it. Yes, Eeyore. I love me some depressed donkeys; that motherfucker keeps it 100 all the time. We should all be more like Eeyore.
She smiled at me. "Hi, Lindsey. I saw you at the concert but didn't have a chance to say hi."
I gave her a small, shy smile and a tiny wave. “Hello, Mrs. Badd."
"Call me Dru." She entered the room, eying Dane's bag on the floor at his feet. "Going somewhere, son?"
He nodded. “Staying in the spare room at Dunc and Rune's for a night or two."
She arched an eyebrow. "Which means pulling a French exit on your own party?"
He shrugged. "Mom, I didn't want it to be a whole thing. It was my first time ever singing in front of a crowd, I was already nervous as all fuck, and I only wanted the immediate family in case I totally fucking bombed. Imagine my surprise when I go out and seeliterally everyone. So yeah, sorry, I don't feel an obligation to hang around at a party I didn’t ask for."
His mom blinked at this. "Oh. I see. We just wanted you to feel supported, Dane."
I elbowed him. "Don't be an ungrateful turd, Dane. Be glad you have a giant family to support you. I've got Rune and her parents, and that's it."
Dru gave me a long look I couldn't entirely decipher. "I don't think that's entirely true anymore, sweetheart." She perched on the edge of the bed beside me, sandwiching me between her and her son. "Lindsey, dear. Whatever’s going on between you and my son is between the two of you. I am very close to my boys, and I like to think they tell me most things. So I know that things happened between the two of you. That's life, that's relationships. Shit happens. I overheard the last thing Dane was saying, and he's absolutely right. You shouldn't feel bad about making the decision you did. We can’t give anyone else our heart if we're a disaster. Love can heal, and it does. But if you're too much of a broken mess, there's nothing to heal. You did what you had to do to put yourself in a better place. That's admirable. It was the only thing you could have done. And now you're here. My boys are not perfect, but I like to think theyareunderstanding. And so are we." She took my hands and gave mea long, hard look, making sure I was really listening. "You are welcome here. Always, no matter what. Rune is my daughter, now. We don't differentiate between daughters and daughters-in-law. By that same logic, you're Rune's sister. So even if you and my son don't end up together, you'll always have a place at our table."
My eyes burned. My throat was tight and hot. Is it dusty in here or what?
"Dammit." I lurched to my feet and paced across the room. "What is it with you people and making me fuckingcry? Jesus."
I felt a presence behind me—by the vanilla-floral perfume I smelled, it was not Dane, unless Dane was suddenly into women's perfume. "Don't run away from what you feel, Lindsey. That leads you nowhere good. Trust me."
I laughed. "Sounds simple, doesn't it?"
"No, it does not. It's not simple at all. It's neither easy nor simple. All of us have struggled with something like what you're going through. It's really, really, really hard to trust your heart to another person even if youdon'thave emotional damage."
I snorted. "I've got a fuck-ton of emotional damage."
