Page 84 of Badd Love
I resisted the urge to pull away. "Mom, you're nuts. I sangonesong."
She held me tighter, cackling through her tears. "I'mproud of you!” she shrieked, squeezing me until I groaned, laughing. "ACCEPT IT!"
"Okay, okay," I wheezed. "You're gonna break a rib, Jesus."
She reluctantly let me go, dashing fingers under her eyes and holding me at arm's length. "Fine. But only because you can't sing for me if I crack your ribs.” Her gaze went to me. "Lindsey, hi. Welcome."
Lindsey faked a smile. "Thank you, Mrs. Badd."
Mom waved a hand. "Call me Dru. I've never identified as a missus." She glanced at me and then at Lindsey. "You caught his surprise performance?"
"I did," Lindsey said. "I couldn't believe what I was seeing."
Mom smiled. "Me either! I didn't even know he was taking choir until last week." She guided us further into the kitchen, shooing me away. "Dane, you have cousins to talk to. Lindsey, let's introduce you around."
Lindsey looked at me with a plea in her eyes. I just laughed, shrugging. "Mom's got you in her grip, babe. No one can help you now. Best to just give in and follow along."
Mom rolled her eyes. “Because you'resogood at that, Dane."
"I never do anything the easy way," I said.
"Well, ain't that the truth," she deadpanned. "Lindsey, I'll bring you back to Dane in a minute."
I watched Mom drag Lindsey around the house, introducing her as my friend from LA and Rune's sort-of sister. I was half paying attention as I made the rounds of my cousins, thanking them for coming and fielding the shocked congratulations. I wasn’t sure how I felt about how surprised everyone was that I didn't sound like a dying goat, but I suppose it's nice. The other part of me was watching Lindsey. At first, she was tight and tense, shoulders up around her ears, whispering her answers, but when she gradually realized that no one seemed to hate her—and that, in fact, everyone seemed to accept her presence without question, she began to relax.
I did notice that Lindsey was refusing alcohol, instead opting to nurse a can of Diet Coke. When I finally managed to pull away from the crowd of family members, I found Lindsey in a conversation with my cousin Ella.
Ella saw me approach and leaned forward to hug Lindsey. "I think Dane the Pain wants to talk to you."
I rolled my eyes. "You and your stupid nicknames." I glanced at Lindsey. "She calls Duncan Donkey, and he fuckinghatesit, let me tell you."
Ella widened her eyes at Lindsey. "You can't call him that—he'll get pissy."
Lindsey smirked. "Well, now I'm going to. Making people pissy is my favorite hobby."
Ella cackled. "In that case, hereallyloves it when people call him Dunky Punky."
I spluttered. "Oh fuck. This is gonna get interesting." I glanced at Lindsey. "The one thing you have to understand about my family is that we’ve elevated insult-based humor to an art form. So if someone starts verbally fucking with you, hit 'em back with your best shots."
Lindsey's eyes lit up. "Oh,reaaaaaally?” She drew the word out into a multi-syllabic sing-song.
Ella and I exchanged looks, then burst into laughter. “Yeah, she'll fit in just fine," Ella said, and then looked at Lindsey. "Have you met my dad, yet?"
Lindsey widened her eyes and shrugged. "Maybe? I've met like forty people so far, and I've been driving for the last two days."
Ella tipped her back. "DADDY!"
"Yo!" Uncle Bax called.
"COME OVER HERE!"
Bax's broad form swaggered toward us. "You bellowed, dear heart?" He jutted his chin at me. "Dane. I'm impressed. I thought Canaan and Corin were the only musically inclined ones in the family. Was startin' to wonder if Mom and Dad adopted ‘em in secret."
The twins were nearby and overheard. "If anyone was adopted in secret, it was you, you overgrown gorilla," Corin quipped. "They got you from the zoo."
Ella glanced at Lindsey. "See?"
Lindsey was grinning. "I do. That's definitely a game I can play."
