Page 49 of Badd Love
"If I had made a move, we'd have had sex. It's not that."
"You sound awfully confident in that."
"I am."
"You don't get credit for not doing something bad."
"That's not my point. My point is that it's not about sex."
"You do you, boo, but if it were me, I'd give her some time and see what happens."
"I think that's the only thingtodo," I said. "You think I'm a tough nut to crack? Lindsey is on a whole other level of impossible to get through to.”
Silence, except thechuck-slapof waves against the hull and the squawking chatter of gulls.
"Okay, but like, the finger in the bungus…was it your idea or hers?"
"I shouldn't have said anything."
"But youdiiiiiid!" he turned "did" into a three-syllable sing-song.
"Hers."
"Right, right, right. So, then—"
"Jax? Shut up. Try it yourself if you want to know what it was like."
"I just might."
"You'd need a girlfriend for that. Or a boyfriend, I’m not judging.”
"Ever hear of casual sex?"
"Hell of a thing to do on a one-night stand. Like, hey girl, we just met, and this is crazy, but would you finger my butt while you suck me off?"
"You may have a point. And I'm not discussing this any further."
I stabbed the sky with a forefinger. "To shore, Captain Bungus!"
"Yes, sir, Admiral Hole Puncher."
I stared at him. "The fuck?"
He turned red. "Shut up. It sounded funnier in my head."
I snickered. "Admiral Hole Puncher. Guess who's got a new online handle, now."
"You do?" he asked, hopefully.
"Nope, you. I'm gonna hack into your Fortnite account and change your name to Admiral Hole Puncher."
"You couldn't hack into an open-source browser."
"I could figure it out."
"Dane, if you can change my handle in Fortnite, I swear to god I will give you my truck."
"You really don't think I could?"
