Page 45 of Badd Love
"I notice you're not answering the question."
He groaned as he lay back down. "Pining? No. Do I still feel a little funny in my no-no zone when I see her? Maybe."
"See? Jokes about the real shit. It's not just me."
"I was in love with her for like half my life, bruh." He let out a long sigh. "You don't just get over that. I knew it was hopeless the whole time, you just can't help how you feel. I really have tried to move on. She's married. Her husband is a real one, and I genuinely like him. I'll never, ever do anything to make it weird. But is there a part of me that still has some residual feelings for her? Sure." He rolled to his side, taking a hit from the joint that he had in his fingers the whole time, smoldering. "Your turn."
"I don't know where to start."
"Anywhere."
"I told her I love her."
Jax burst into a hacking coughing fit. "Fuck. Jesus." Eyes watering, voice hoarse, raspy, and phlegmy, he blinked at me. "You fuckingwhat?"
"I told Lindsey Snelling I love her. And then I walked out and came home."
"Harsh."
"It's what she wanted."
"Which part?"
"The walking out part."
"And the L-bomb part?"
"Probably not as much."
"I feel like there's a whole middle piece missing."
I tried to hold back, but it came tumbling out anyway. "We smashed, back when I went down there with Dunc when he went to get Rune back."
"No shit? She's fine as fuck. Was it epic?"
"Well, I'm in love with her. What doyouthink?"
"Those are separate things, Dane. You can have epic sex and not fall in love."
"Yes, it was epic. Up until she had a complete and total emotional breakdown mid-BJ."
"Dude, you never go for the deep-throat without asking first. Chicksreallydon't like that."
"Fuck off. I would never."
"I'm teasing."
"Well, it's not fucking funny to me. She went from acting like she was into it—intome—to having a screaming fit in the space of, like, ten seconds. No reason. I didn't do anything. I didn't even ask her to go down—she did it on her own. She just fucking lost it. Ran into the bathroom and screamed at me to get out, get out, get out." I groaned. "Fuck me, I am so sick of talking and thinking about that shit. I've gone in circles about it mentally a billion fucking times."
"Did she ever tell you what it was about?"
"Nope. Well, sort of. Indirectly. And I'm not sharing even the little bit she did tell me, because it’s not my story to tell. But after she freaked out and I left, she blocked my number. I didn't see her again until the wedding, and she was…icy toward me. Avoided me. Then I found her having a breakdown in the alley and tried to comfort her. She wasn't having any of it. Fine, whatever. So I left again. Woke up in the guest room over the bar with her naked in bed with me."
"Nice. Round two?"
"Nope. She asked me to just hold her."
"Mean. Hot body like that, naked, all up in your shit, and you can't have it?"
