Page 103 of Badd Love
He saw that I was vulnerable and scared, and he didn't shy away from it. He accepted it, leaned into it. He didn't push me to another emotional breaking point, though. He gave me the physical release I needed and took the burden of decision from me at the same time. He took charge and showed me that I could trust him, that I could sort of…turn off, mentally, and just relax into his care.
I hadn't realized that's what was happening, but that was the downstream effect, whether he'd done so on purpose or not.
He loved me.
He’d proven that multiple times and in multiple ways.
So, I lay submerged in the tub, considering all this as I gazed at him. His posture was relaxed but alert, watching me, waiting for me. The ball was in my court, now.
Did I want sex? Did I want emotional intimacy? Both, somehow? I wasn't sure how both could exist—they never have, in my world.
It's what I wanted, though.
Not just sex.
Not just "Insert Tab A into Slot B and repeat" for a few seconds or minutes of feel-good time.
Not that that's what it had ever been with Dane, but still, I knew there was more than that between us.
I held his eyes as I rolled toward him in the water, holding onto the rim of the tub with one hand and hooking my fingers in his underwear with the other. I pulled his underwear away from his body and tugged them down inch by inch, running my hand from left hip to right without touching his cock, easing them past the hard swell of his taut ass until they slid free and dropped to pool around his feet.
My first instinct was to put my mouth on him—his cock was just so fucking pretty. So long, so thick, so straight and hard, standing ramrod stiff against his belly and begging for sloppy wet kisses.
I examined myself, and I recognized, in a wild burst of brand-new self-awareness, that I was too emotionally on edge for that. I'd get triggered and break down, fuck everything up.
So…no. Not yet.
I decided to be nice to myself. Don't push the envelope just yet. Maybe in time, when I was more settled into whatever this was or would be with Dane, I could experiment.
Instead, I focused on what Icoulddo, what Icouldenjoy.
I clasped his cock in my fist, rested my chin on the back of the hand gripping the tub's rim.
He hissed, jaw tensing. "Linz—""I won't do anything triggering," I promised him. "This won't."
He gritted his jaw. "Linz, I…"
"Shush," I whispered. "Let me have a little fun."
He hung his head, breathing with slow intention as I caressed his length. "Do your worst, then."
I giggled, biting my lower lip. "Careful what you ask for, big boy. You really want my worst? Or my best?"
"I, um…" he broke off with a groan as I twisted my hand around the plump head of his lovely cock. "Fuck, that feels good."
"What if my worst involved teeth?" I asked.
"You like my cock too much to bite it," he said. "Plus, we aren't doing anything that might involve teeth, right?"
"We? Or me?" I asked.
"You know what I mean," he said, and then dipped at the knees, hissing, as I gave his fat, hot cock a nice, firm squeeze.
"Just get in here with me," I said, letting go and sitting up and scooting forward to make room behind me.
He stepped in and slid down behind me, gingerly, so as to not overflow the tub, which was now, with both of us in it, precariously full. Once he was seated behind me, we gradually adjusted our positions until I was reclining in the open wedge of his thighs, which were conveniently placed to be perfect arm rests. His firm chest was a lovely pillow, and his heavy, brawny arms draped over my chest, crossed at the forearms, his hands lazily cupping but not quite holding my breasts in a familiar, possessive way that somehow managed to be more affectionate than sexual. His erection, however, was an undeniably sexual presence pressing somewhat uncomfortably into my spine.
Overall, with the hot water and Dane's embrace surrounding me, cocooning me, I was more comfortable and relaxed than I can ever remember being.
