Page 116 of Shades of Loyalty

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I make direct eye contact, my body, my face, my hands—drenched in blood.

She saw it.

She saweverything.

Oh my god.

Fuck, no.

“Jennifer…” Her name barely leaves my lips.

Her eyes are wide, frozen in terror. Her breath is shallow. She doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak.

She just stands there, staring at me.

I take a step toward her, my feet heavy like I’m walking through mud.

But she flinches.

It’s a punch to the gut.

I stop, just staring at her. And for the first time today, I feel something other than rage. Something raw.

The realization that I’ve just destroyed everything between us.

I just let her see the monster I am. And if she does what I expect her to— it’s gonna fucking break me.

This is me. This is what I am. If she stays, she has to understand that.

I’ve always told her I’m not a good man. I never hid it from her. She should understand.

I take another step. She doesn’t move. And that’s when I know.

I really, really fucked up.

She shouldn’t have been here… Just like back then. Only this time, it’s not sympathy filling my chest. It’s pain.

Because seeing her afraid of me hurts more than anything. I just fully realized I loved her days ago. And she’s about to hate me.

I told her my life is fucked up. She didn’t want to believe me.

But now, she’s seen it.Allof it.

I watch her turn away. Walk away. Every step she takes is a knife to my chest, a reminder of what I’ve just lost.

She’s leaving me.

And I can’t stop her.

The heavy door slams shut behind her.

Silence.

My mind spins, my body frozen in place, still drenched in blood. And then, the first tear falls.

It’s slow.

At first, I don’t even recognize it. It feels like a drop of blood.

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