Page 104 of Shades of Loyalty
She looks at me, brows furrowing in concern. "I don't want you to say it right now. You're hurt, and you're confused, and…”
"No," I interrupt, getting up and moving closer. "Listen to me." I take her hand, the words finally tumbling out.
"I love you, Jennifer. I fucking love you. I just didn’t know how to say it before. With everything that's been happening lately, it’s been... hard."
I run a hand through my hair, frustration and relief mixing in my chest.
"It was easier for me to fuck you and make you feel good than to say those words. I was unsure how to tell you.We agreed on keeping this purely sexual, but it’s not what I want anymore,” I sigh.
“I’ve never said these words to anyone before. Not in a romantic way, at least. Princess, you’re so special to me, you have no fucking idea. And I’m so grateful to have you here. Especially now. Thank you for being here with me.”
We both lay there, just looking at each other before I speak up once more. “Thank you for loving me.”
Her eyes fill with tears before she kisses me gently, making my mind fill up with love, making me forget about all the terrible things that have happened.
At least for the moment.
“Be mine forever,” she whispers in between our kisses. “Please keep me. Don’t leave me.”
I smile against her lips, her words filling up my heart. “I’ll never leave. I promise you that. I’d never leave you like—” I stop, but in her eyes, I can see she knows what I was about to say.
“Don’t be like him,” is all she says. “Love me and Mary forever, okay? Don’t leave us. She likes you too much. And I love you…”
“I would never. My two princesses need me. I know that. I’ll protect my girls forever.”
She simply giggles into my chest, her cheeks turning red.
I stand behind her, looking at us in the mirror. Her dress is long and flowy, with a gorgeous flower print on it. It’s June, and the warm weather is slowly catching up to us.
And although my mind is definitely not in the mood for summer, I like seeing Jennifer’s excitement.
She tries to keep it low, not wanting to disturb my grief. I know that. I can sense it.
But she looks so beautiful in this dress, and I don’t want her to feel like she can’t have happiness just because I can’t in this moment.
When she’s done looking over her outfit, she turns around to face me. She looks at me with a gentle smile on her face.
I do my best to smile back, but in reality, my mind is filled with the images from yesterday. Her face. Her closed eyes. Her body, completely red.
I close my eyes shut, taking a breath before I open my eyes again. I can’t get rid of all the blood in my mind. It’s gone. I know it is.
Her clothes have changed, and her body is being examined. I know.
But it won’t fucking leave me alone.
Maybe, it never will.
But I’m not ready to face that reality. Not yet…
Jennifer looks at me in concern. “Are you okay, darling?” she whispers.
A gentle smile plays on my lips. She started calling me darling recently. And I love it.
I nod. “I’ll be fine.”
But as convincing as it may sound, she can feel I’m lying. Not on purpose, of course. I just don’t want her to feel bad.
“We can stay in bed all day if that’s what you need today,” she reassures me. But I shake my head.
