Page 114 of Shades of Loyalty
He tries to find a way to not feel the pain that badly. I’ve seen it before.
Well, that’s sad. He won’t be able to.
The chains stop him from doing so. And even if he could… I’ve done this before. Curling up his body will not do anything for the pain. It’ll only worsen it.
“Why are you doing this? I don’t know who it is! I swear! You have to—” he moans in pain, “believe me!” I just laugh.
He doesn’t get it.
This isn’t just about him.
This is about Roy. My mother. The family I lost because I was too blind to see the enemy creeping in.
I press my gun against his head, tilting my head as I study him.
Knowing that two innocent people had to die because I was too fucking dumb to find the asshole trying to ruin my family? Knowing that I could’ve died that day if it wasn’t for Nikolai?
That’s why I’m doing this. He should know.
I have to find the bastard responsible for all of this. Killing Eduardo and this guy won’t make up for it—I know that.
They’re worthless. They don’t belong to any family. The only thing they have—or better, had—was the stolen drugs and the dirty money they made doing shitwork for others.
In a way, I should be grateful to Eduardo for trying to kill me. He brought me one step closer to the truth.
Maybe, just maybe, I should thank him.
My hands tremble on the gun as I shove it against his head, staring into his terrified eyes. His whole body is shaking, tears streaming down his face. Fuck, I love the sight of him like this.
What I’d love more, though, is getting the fucking information out of him.
“Wanna talk now?” My voice is sharp, dripping with venom. “Because I’ll fucking blow your brains out if you don’t. Maybe I’ll send a picture to your mommy—let her see how her son died like a fucking rat.”
I grin. “Oh, wait… My bad. Your mommy’s dead, isn’t she? Died with your whole family, right?”
His eyes flicker with something—rage, pain. My grin vanishes just as fast as it came with his next words.
“Didn’t your mommy die, too?”
Fuck this. If he thinks I’m going easy on him, if I planned to take my time—well, I just changed my mind.
My brain doesn’t connect with my heart at that moment. Because while my brain knows that this man knows a lot more than he’s telling me, my heart is in enough pain to take my gun and put a bullet through his head in an instant.
“Say goodbye to your useless life, bastard.”
My voice stays strong. No hesitation. No weakness. Even as my mind races, even as my body struggles to keep up with the storm inside me, my mouth knows exactly what to do.
Don’t act like his words affect you. That’s what he wants. I have to act like I’m in control.
Even when I’m not. Not anymore. Not truly.
“Give me a fucking name you bastard!” My voice bounces off the walls, my anger boiling over. I don’t give a fuck anymore. If he doesn’t talk, I lose my only lead.
I can’t have this little bastard get into my mind like this. He’s not the one in control here.
I am.
That’s the most important thing I have to remember.
