Page 107 of Shades of Loyalty
The sudden realization hits me hard. If I’m with Jennifer, I’m also taking on the role of being Mary’s father.
And fuck, I want that so badly. I want her to have a real father figure, someone who’s there for her, someone who won’t walk away.
Someone who’ll always make sure she’s safe and protected. That’s the bare minimum of what she deserves.
“I love you too, principessa,” I whisper, my heart thudding in my chest.
She looks at me in confusion. “Principassa? What’s that?”
A laugh escapes my chest. “It’s principessa, Mary. It means princess. You are one, aren’t you?”
Immediately, she giggles before jumping into my arms. “Yes, I am a princess! Daddy’s right!”
As I look up, I catch the knowing looks of the other grown-ups. They all see it. They know how much this moment means. They’re seeing something shift in me that I can’t quite put into words yet.
Jennifer, too, is looking at me with a mixture of love and uncertainty. And for the first time in a long while, I feel like maybe, just maybe, I’m not alone in this.
But before anything else can be said, Andrew interrupts the moment, making his usual snarky comment. “I’m getting hungry, guys,” he says, grabbing two of the kids’ bags.
“You’re always hungry,” Victoria teases, her tone light.
“I haven’t even had breakfast!” Andrew shoots back, shocked by her words.
I smile, shaking my head, but then Enzo’s excitement draws me back to the moment. He’s giggling, bouncing with joy as we all prepare for the trip. He’s obsessed with cars, especially mine.
As we all start getting ready to leave, I hear a soft voice from behind me.
“Zio… Why did Nonna not wake us up today? Is she busy?” The question hits me like a fucking wrecking ball. I freeze. My heart slams against my ribs, and for a moment, I can’t breathe.
My mouth goes dry. I turn slowly, meeting his innocent, confused gaze.
Enzo’s eyes are full of questions, not fully understanding where his grandma is, but still aware that something’s off.Fuck.
His small hand tugs at my sleeve. I can’t answer him. Not right now. Not the truth.
I swallow hard, forcing myself to speak, but the words come out like shards of glass.
“She… she’s just… well, she’s just really busy today, Enzo. Don’t worry about it, okay?”
I tell him not to worry. But I’m the one who’s fucking falling apart. Inside, I’m dying, but I can’t show him that.
He’s just a little boy. He should enjoy our trip today. He shouldn’t be worried about what’s going on.
When mom’s funeral is closer, I’ll try to explain it to him. Or maybe Victoria will. I don’t know.
As we finally step inside the garage, I sigh quietly, but thankfully nobody notices.
“Andrew?” I groan.
He turns around, looking at me and replying with a short, “Yeah?”
“Wanna drive my new Porsche today?” I ask grinning, throwing the keys towards him.
My brother just grins back at me and nods, but I know he’s aware of what’s going on. I can’t fucking drive.
I was glad that I didn’t kill Jennifer and me yesterday on my Harley.
I can’t drive with two children in the car. I just know I’d crash instantly.
