Page 55 of Chasing the Tide

And I hated being reminded of her with these people as my witness.

After the Berettis disappeared down the aisle, I hurried to the checkout wanting to get out of the store as fast as I could.

When I was back in my car, grocery bags in hand, I sagged against the seat. I didn’t realize I was shaking until I put the keys in the ignition. I sat in the car for a long time, the engine idling, unable to pull out of the parking lot.

I watched as the Berettis left the IGA, with poor Cheyenne trailing behind them, looking so much like fourteen-year-old Ellie McCallum.

What was I doing here?

Why had I come back?

I didn’t want to be here.

I didn’t want to live with the chance of running into the very people I had tried so hard to forget.

I didn’t want to know that I could see Dania on the street or the Berettis in the grocery store. I didn’t want to have to crawl back with my pride in tatters for a job at JACs.

I thought on that day that I had packed my car and drove out of Wellston that I had made my break.

And I had believed when I came back to be with Flynn that things were different.

Iwas different.

So why was I sitting here in my car, feeling entirely too much like the girl I used to be. Violated. Miserable. A failure.

I looked over at the bags containing Flynn’s lunch and knew he was expecting me. I checked the time and saw that I only had a few minutes to get over to the community college before he would start wondering where I was.

It was important for me to remember why I was here.

I was here because of Flynn.

Flynn Hendrick.

My Flynn.

I repeated his name over and over again in my head. Desperately wanting that to be all that mattered.

Flynn.

Flynn.

Flynn.

So why did I still feel sick inside?

Chapter Twelve

-Ellie-

The house was quiet.

Not the sort of quiet that was relaxing and made me want to take a nap.

It was the sort of quiet that had me on edge and hyper aware of every sound.

I had heard Dania out in the hallway earlier. The closed door had muffled her voice. I had also heard Mr. Beretti’s baritone. Their words hadn’t reached my ears and then it had gone silent.

And it had been that way ever since.