Page 14 of Keeping Amanda
“Are you sure? What if they find us?”
“They won’t.” Buck didn’t know that for certain, but at the moment, he’d say whatever he needed to in order to reassure Mandy.
Keeping his arm around her waist, Buck headed back in the direction they’d been going before Mandy fell behind. As they walked, he looked for a place they could hole up for the day. It was more dangerous to travel at night, but the cover of darkness would also help hide them in case the rebels were out searching.
What Buckreallywanted to do was circle back around and kill each and every one of the bastards. It was a bloodthirsty thought, but he could feel Mandy trembling against him. They’d put her and the children through hell, and they deserved to suffer. But his only concern right now was the woman at his side. Making sure she survived. Getting her to safety.
Being this up close and personal to someone he rescued was a new thing for Buck. As a helicopter pilot, his role was usually only to transport people from one place to another. Anyone who’d been a prisoner of any kind was usually accompanied by a team of special forces. He and his fellow pilots rarely even spoke to whoever they transported. He felt out of his element right now. Unsure what to say to reassure Mandy. He wasn’t good at this. He was good at flying, not soothing traumatized victims.
“How are you holding up?” he asked, immediately wincing at the stupid question.
“I’m okay,” she surprised him by saying.
“I don’t want you to tell me what you think I want to hear,” Buck replied. “If you feel like shit, tell me that. If you’re scared, I want to know. The only way we’re going to make it through this is if we’re honest with each other.”
He was used to being on missions with his Night Stalker brethren. They had no problem telling shit like it was. Theywere probably a bittoohonest at times. But one weakness could actually get the entire team killed if it wasn’t dealt with or brought to light. They were stronger together than they were individually, and right now, he needed Mandy to be his teammate. A team of two.
“How areyouholding up?” she asked, turning the question around on him.
“I’m pissed. Not at you,” he said quickly, “but at the situation. At the men who thought it was okay to kidnap children and force them to become soldiers for their cause. I’m irritated they realized so quickly that things were missing from the kitchen tent. I’m worried about you. It’s obvious you haven’t been eating enough, and the last thing I want is for you to faint from lack of sustenance. I’m hot and uncomfortable in this flight suit. And I’m stressed because we need to find a place to hide so you can get some food and rest.”
Her eyes had widened when he first began to speak, and by the time he was done, she was staring at him with an expression he couldn’t read.
“Too honest?” he asked, as he looked down at her. Buck wasn’t a very tall man, only five foot eight, but Mandy was still tiny compared to him. She only came up to his shoulder, and with his arm around her waist, he could feel how skinny she was. He was worried about her physicalandmental state.
“It actually makes me feel better that you’re dealing with all that,” she told him. “You seem so…I’m not sure how to explain it.”
“Try,” Buck urged.
“Competent? Larger than life? You came swooping down and scooped us all up…well, you would’ve if I hadn’t been an idiot by running off.”
“You weren’t an idiot,” Buck said.
She shrugged. “I’m scared,” Mandy whispered. “And hungry. And thirsty. And I’ve got chafing in places I’ve never chafedbefore. Clothes that never drysuck. And I’m worried about the kids. How they’re doing. They have to be terrified. They don’t have anyone to hold them tight and tell them they’re okay, that things are going to be all right.”
“The staff at the school won’t do that?” Buck asked. “Blair and Desmond?”
“They will. But…”
Buck waited for her to finish her thought. When she didn’t, he encouraged her to continue. “But?”
“Blair is a good director. But she’s a little old school. A little stricter than I think some of the kids need. She loves the little ones—Bibi has become one of her favorites, she dotes on her. But Natasha and Michelle seem to irritate her. As do Joseph, Michael, and Andrew. The older the kids get, the more standoffish she can be.
“Desmond’s great, but he has his own family, so he isn’t always around when the kids might need something. There are part-time volunteers who take turns staying with the kids at night, and the staff that works in the kitchens and stuff, but they’re not as…invested? That’s not really the word I’m looking for but my brain isn’t firing on all cylinders right now. The kids need hugs and reassurance that they’re safe, and I’m just not sure they’ll get that. Especially not the older kids.”
“You love them,” Buck said.
“Of course I do,” Mandy said without hesitation. “If I could adopt them all, I would. But I can’t. So the best I can do is show them unconditional love and try to make them see that just because they don’t have parents, that doesn’t make them any less worthy than anyone else.”
Buck was impressed. Yes, some people would think she was naïve and tell her that she couldn’t change the world. But he admired her empathy. How much love she had in her heart for a bunch of kids society might deem not important because of their circumstances.
He opened his mouth to reply, but was distracted by exactly what he’d been searching for as they walked. He stopped and looked around the area, wanting to triple check that they were alone. Buck hadn’t heard anyone following them, but since he and Mandy had been talking, he might’ve missed something.
When he heard and saw nothing out of the ordinary, he glanced at Mandy. “Stay here a second. Okay?”
She nodded without hesitation, and Buck was glad she didn’t question him. He’d answer any questions she had, but he needed her to be able to follow orders because it literally could be a matter of life or death for them both.
He left her standing next to a group of trees and headed for the boulders that caught his eye. The huge rocks were actually unusual in the rainforest, but he wasn’t going to walk away simply because they were out of place. They both needed somewhere dry to spend the day, and if he was lucky, the formation might offer just that.
