Page 95 of Keeping Amanda
“That’s ridiculous,” Nash growled.
At the same time Tex said, “That’s going a bit far.”
“It’s not ridiculous, and it’s not going too far. As much as you might like to think so, Tex, you aren’t God. You aren’t the supreme ruler of everyone’s actions. There’s this thing called free will. And you might be good at what you do, damn good, but sometimes shit just happens. Blair was under the radar. No electronic trail. No phone, no credit cards,nothing. She was a ghost. And you can’t track a ghost.”
“I can damn well try,” he muttered.
“Try,” Amanda emphasized. “And youdidtry. Extremely hard, if what I was told is correct. Give it up. Stewing about this isn’t helping. Maybe use whatever you’ve learned from this to help someone else. You aren’t doing anyone any good wallowing in guilt. And the same goes for you, Nash. Don’t think I don’t know you’re beating yourself up for what happened every single time you look at me. As much as I love your protective instincts, you can’t be with me every second of every day.”
“I was with you that night. Right next to you, in fact,” he said.
“Whatever!” Amanda said with a dramatic flail of her arm. “So you aren’t Superman. Big deal! How do you think I would’ve felt if it wasyouwho got hit in the head? You think I wouldn’thave felt guilty that you were hurt, when I was the one Blair was after? It would’ve destroyed me. It’s bad enough that Bibi is dead because of me.”
“No, she’s not.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
Again, both men spoke at the same time. Both sounded distraught that she believed that.
“Look. Nothing about the last few months has been great. But other parts—like meeting Nash, falling in love, meeting his friends—have been life-changingly awesome for me. We have to take the ups with the downs in life. You can’t have one without the other. If you two don’t figure your shit out and become friends, or acquaintances, orwhateveryou are again, I’m not going to be happy.”
It was a lame ending for her little speech, but Amanda was done. She’d said what she wanted to say, and she just hoped it was enough to get through to both stubborn, uber-protective military men facing off beside her bed.
“I’m sorry,” Tex told Nash.
Her man took a deep breath, then nodded. “I appreciate everything you were able to do to help us.”
The tension in the room lessened a tad. It wasn’t gone, but Amanda didn’t figure it would be that easy for either man to let go of their guilt and frustration over what had transpired.
“I did come with other news. It’s both good and bad,” Tex said.
Amanda braced. Nash sat back down in the chair and took her hand in his once more. Having him there, unconditionally, went a long way toward giving her the courage to say, “Let’s have it.”
“Michael has been adopted. I know you wanted to bring him here to the States, but there was a childless couple in Guyana that was interested in adoption. They contacted Desmond, he had a background check done, and when they came to visit thechildren, they bonded with James and Patricia right away. Apparently, Michael was protective of the little ones and always around when they visited with the prospective parents. In the end, they fell for him too. All three children will be staying in their home country with their new parents. Who have plenty of money to care for three kids, by the way.”
“Oh,” Amanda said. “That’s good.”
“It is, but I know you bonded with Michael yourself.”
“I did. But you know what? Him staying in Guyana, amongst his own culture, is a good thing. And he was always protective. Of meandthe other kids. I’m glad he found a family of his own.”
Tex stared at her for a beat. “You’re good people, Amanda. Some people would be upset they weren’t able to adopt the child they had their heart set on.”
“There are lots of kids in the world who need loving homes,” she said quietly. “Yes, I’m a little sad that the life I envisioned giving Michael won’t come to fruition, but that doesn’t mean he still won’t have a great life, do great things. As we were just saying, life has its twists and turns. But every action points us on a different path. Just as my path led me to Nash, Michael’s will hopefully lead him to equally wonderful things.”
“Smart too,” Tex said. He looked at Nash. “I hope you know that I’m always around if you need me. I realize you probably have second thoughts now about coming to me in a crisis, but I’ll be there if you, or any of your friends, need help regardless.”
“Thanks, Tex. I appreciate it.”
Amanda figured that was as close to accepting Tex’s unnecessary apology for not finding Blair as the man would get.
“I’ll see myself out. Glad you’re feeling better. Oh, and that long-term sub job? It’s still yours when you’re ready. I reached out to the principal and he’s aware of your situation. They have another sub working in the classroom, but she’s not willing to stay for the amount of time needed. She’ll be happy to concede the classroom to you when you’re back on your feet. And whenthat teacher comes back from maternity leave, there’s another going on leave to haveherbaby, so he’s hoping you can just transition over to that class.”
“Oh! Wow, thanks.”
Tex nodded, then turned and headed for the door. He was gone a moment later.
Amanda turned to Nash. “Did that just happen?”
