Page 7 of Deserving Ryleigh
“That’s good,” Ry said after a moment. She felt awkward and uneasy around him. Always had, because she was all too aware of her attraction toward him. Though, after she’d admitted her name wasn’t really Ryan, that she’d finagled herself into the job at The Refuge, the previous few reciprocal looks he’d given her had disappeared completely.
Which brought her back to the last two days. Now when he looked at her, it seemed as if he was trying to readher mind, figure out what made her tick. And despite how nervous that made her feel…she couldn’t deny the attraction she’d felt for him during her first several months at The Refuge was sparking back to life.
It scared the crap out of Ry. Because Tiny didn’t like her that way. And if he was changing tactics, trying to be nice to her or—God forbid—seduce her for some unknown reason, there was a high probability she’d fall for it.
Tiny continued to study her, and it felt as if they were the only two people in the world at that moment. Ry could drown in his turquoise eyes, and it took every ounce of control she had not to lean into him. She didn’t hear the excited chatter of their friends in the small room. She was lost in the magnetism of the man standing next to her. Had he leaned closer? Ry inhaled, and his scent filled her senses.
Yeah, he’d totally stepped closer.
“You know the gender, don’t you?” he asked quietly, seemingly out of the blue.
Swallowing hard, Ry considered hedging, but she’d lied enough to him. She simply nodded.
Instead of his jaw tightening, and the disapproving look he usually had on his face when he realized she’d used her computer skills to find out something she shouldn’t, he actually smiled.
Ry wondered if she’d entered some sort of alternate dimension.
“I figured you probably did, because every time a discussion came up about whether they were having a boy or a girl, you never volunteered your opinion.”
The realization that Tiny paid alotmore attention toher than she’d realized should’ve been alarming. Should’ve had her itching to grab her beloved computer and get the hell out of New Mexico. But instead, it made her feel…protected. Knowing he was there, watching out for her, made a yearning she thought she’d pushed down to the recesses of her being flare hot and fast.
She wanted what her friends had.
Every time Brick went out of his way to check on Alaska when she was working the front desk, that yearning flared. When Tonka met Henley at her car as she arrived back at The Refuge after her shift at the mental health clinic in town…when Spike let Reese babble to him in the few Spanish phrases she was learning…when Pipe called Cora “love” in his sexy-as-hell English accent…when Owl stood behind Lara with his hands resting on her baby bump as if he could keep them both safe with that simple touch…when Stone looked at Maisy as if she was the center of his world…
Ry yearned to have what they had.
It wasn’t jealousy, per se. She was as happy as could be that her friends had partners who clearly loved them. She simply wished she could experience the same. She’d been on her own for years. Doing what she could to stay two steps ahead of her father, who’d used her for his own despicable schemes since the day she was born.
It had taken a very long time for Ry to understand that her father didn’t love her. Hadneverloved her. To him, she was merely a means to an end. Someone who could take the fall for everything he’d done, if it came to that.
She was thirty-one years old and had never felt wanted or loved…until she’d arrived at The Refuge.
She’d researched the retreat online and liked whatshe’d seen. Better yet, it was far off the beaten path. Her dad would’ve never expected her to be hiding out in such a place. It wasn’t that she’d needed the money from the housekeeping job she’d applied for all those months ago—she didn’t—it was a place where she could hole up while she continued giving away as much of the money her father had acquired over the years as she could.
It wasn’t as easy as people might think to spend thirty million dollars. She couldn’t bring attention to herself, and she had to be careful about where she stashed the money until she could give it all away. The more bank accounts she opened, the more ways her father had of finding her. But if she put too much in any one account, questions would be raised and tax ramifications would have to be dealt with.
Ry felt a touch on her arm, and once again, she jerked, startled. Tiny was standing even closer now, blocking out the rest of the room with his body as he stared down at her. He was running his fingers up and down her upper arm. He hadn’t said a word while she’d been lost in her thoughts.
“So many heavy thoughts running through your head,” he mused.
Okay, this almost-gentle Tiny wastotallyfreaking Ry out. She was used to him sniping at her, making her feel guilty and ashamed of who she was, what she did.
“Just worried about Henley,” she told him.
“One of these days, you’ll feel comfortable not lying to me,” he told her. Then with one last touch, he dropped his hand and stepped away from her.
Just when he was about to turn away, Ry blurted, “That wasn’t a lie.”
Tiny’s eyes narrowed a fraction. “No?”
She shook her head. “Iamworried about Henley. Tonka would be devastated if anything happened to her. I know they both want their baby, but not at the expense of her health. I was just thinking about what it would be like to be loved like that. To know someone would do anything and everything to keep you safe.”
As soon as the words were out, Ry regretted them. She should’ve let Tiny walk away. Shouldn’t have cared that he thought she’d lied to him yet again.
“You’ve never felt that? Even as a kid?” Tiny asked.
The urge to laugh off his question, to lie and say ofcourseshe had, was strong.
