Page 5 of Deserving Lara
Cora was the best thing that had ever happened to Lara. She was outgoing and not afraid to say what she was thinking. She was Lara’s opposite, and she adored her.
Years later, when Cora was hours away from being homeless, she’d added Cora to her bank account and made her promise to use her money if she ever found herself in that kind of situation again. Of course, Cora being Cora, she’d refused to touch a dime.
The truth was, Lara needed Cora much more than her friend had ever needed her.
Not a day went by when Lara didn’t mentally kick herself for not listening to Cora when she’d tried to tell her Ridge Michaels wasn’t genuine. They’d gotten into a big fight over the man, which had led to Lara impulsively agreeing to go to Arizona with her then-boyfriend. If she’d only listened to Cora, she wouldn’t have fallen into Carter’s clutches.
Thinking about everything the serial killer had done to her made Lara shiver in fear and revulsion.
A moment later, she felt Owl stir, then a second blanket was being draped over her.
“I can turn the heat up if you’re cold,” he said softly.
Closing her eyes, Lara tried to control her erratic emotions. Even in his sleep, Owl had felt her shudder…and misinterpreted it. Had anyone ever been so attentive to her before? That answer was easy. No.
“Thanks,” she told him.
He stood then, and Lara watched him as he headed for the bathroom just down the hall. She had no idea what time it was, but it was still dark outside. When she’d first arrived, and Owl had discovered she was terrified of the dark, he went into town and bought a dozen nightlights. They were plugged into every available outlet, throwing off enough light to allow her to see, but not so harsh as to prevent her from sleeping.
Those first few days, she’d slept out here on the couch, with Owl at her feet. Then she’d forced herself to go to the guest room, but sleep was elusive. That was when Owl began sleeping in the chair next to the bed. Every time she woke up, her eyes would pop open in terror, only to see her own personal bodyguard right there at her side. Most of the time he was awake, quick to reassure her that she was all right. That she was safe in New Mexico.
She often felt guilty that she was so needy. So dependent on Owl. But he never made her feel as if looking after her was a hardship. Never complained that he didn’t have a moment to himself because she freaked if he was out of her sight for more than a few minutes.
Cora and Owl had saved her life. And Lara still wasn’t sure if she was grateful or pissed at them as a result. Some days, she felt as if everyone—including herself—would be better off if she was gone. She wouldn’t be dealing with the debilitating fear and depression that she suffered now if she was dead.
Owl came back into the room carrying another blanket. He’d obviously made a detour after using the restroom. He settled himself back into the corner of the couch and stared at her.
Lara’s muscles tightened at the look on his face. Determination. Stubbornness. She braced for whatever he was going to say.
“You need to talk to Henley.”
She was shaking her head before he’d finished his sentence. “I’m doing okay,” she insisted. The last thing she wanted was someone getting inside her head. Discovering how messed up shereallywas.
And finding out that she was planning on leaving and disappearing for good.
“You are, but you aren’t. Trust me, I know.”
“Youdon’tknow,” Lara said, the bitterness leaking through in her tone.
“I do,” Owl insisted.
“You know what it’s like to crave the drugs you were forced to take because they dull your senses, so you don’t have to feel what’s being done to you? To be touched against your will? To be told that you’ll never get away and you’ll be someone’s plaything for years to come?”
Where the words were coming from, Lara didn’t know, but she couldn’t stop.
“Really, Owl? You know what it’s like to feel as if every time you step outside, you’re going to be snatched up and stuffed into a trunk and stolen away? To be terrified every second of every day, knowing the person who tortured you is still out there? Waiting for the perfect time to grab you again and shove you back into a basement, strip you naked, and jack off to your terror?”
Lara was panting by the time she stopped, every muscle tense and her head pounding. Her hands shook with adrenaline as memories swam through her brain.
“I know what it’s like to be touched against my will. To be beaten to within an inch of my life…for fun. To look up at a red blinking light and realize my humiliation is being filmed to be blasted on the Internet for millions of people to watch. I completely understand the fear of being recaptured and put right back into the same situation I’d just escaped from.
“I also know how it feels for my best friend to be tortured, simply to hurt me even more. To hear his cries of pain and know I can’t do a damn thing to help. And yes, my captors are still out there. Some were killed during our rescue, but others weren’t. Dozens of men who delighted in every strike, every slash of their knife. I know without a shadow of a doubt if they had a chance to get me back in their clutches, they’d not hesitate to make me their prisoner again.”
Owl’s gaze was intense, but his tone wasn’t accusatory. It was almost…gentle. And Lara couldn’t help but feel ashamed by her outburst. But Owl wasn’t finished.
“I also know how it feels to be happy one minute, then feel so depressed the next it’s all I can do to get out of bed. I hated the pitying looks I got from people who recognized me from those damn videos. I didn’t want to see a therapist. I was a man—I could deal with all the shit in my head without help. But after I sat in my kitchen one night with a knife in one hand, and a bottle of painkillers in the other, I realized it was time. I cried like a baby in my first session with my therapist…and damn if that didn’t help.
“I’m worried about you, Lara. I can listen, be by your side, reassure you that I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe, but I don’t have the training Henley does. I swear to you that she’s good at her job. And anything you say to her will be held in the strictest confidence. At least try. Please. One session.”
