Page 45 of Deserving Lara
“You kissed me,” he said in a low, rumbly tone.
Lara licked her lips nervously. “Yeah,” she agreed.
His gaze almost burned as he looked into her eyes. “Was that an I’m-caught-up-in-the-moment-and-grateful-for-all-you’ve-done-to-help-me kiss? Or was it something more?”
Lara’s heart beat like a drum in her chest. She couldn’t read him. Did he want it to be the former or the latter? The shy woman she used to be struggled to take control. To tell him she’d gotten carried away. To not take the risk of being rejected.
But the new woman, the one who’d survived the awful things that had happened to her and yearned to be loved the way her best friend was, rebelled.
“More,” she whispered.
“Be sure,” Owl warned. “Because if you’re simply trying to outrun some demons, or excise them, I’m not the man you want to do that with.”
“I’m sure,” she told him, feeling more and more confidence well up inside. Owl wouldn’t be warning her away if he simply wanted to get off. Besides, that wasn’t the kind of man he was. She should know, she’d spent more time with him than any other man she’d gotten involved with in her life. And she wantedthisman more than all of them combined.
It was Owl’s turn to lick his lips. He wrapped an iron arm around her waist, and then they were touching from hips to chest. She could feel the warm puffs of his breath against her lips. Every nerve ending tingled. And yet, still he hesitated. As if he didn’t want to hurt her. As if he wasn’t sure she really wanted him.
That was unacceptable.
Lara snaked her hands upward and cupped his face. Then she kissed him again. This time, pressing her lips against his in desperation. She needed him to know that she had no second thoughts. That she wanted this more than she could say with words.
For a few seconds, Owl didn’t move. He stood stock still as Lara kissed him.
Just when disappointment began to creep through her, Owl made a noise deep in his throat and his lips parted. His tongue came out and pushed into her mouth. Lara moaned as his taste bloomed on her taste buds. He’d obviously popped a mint into his mouth at some point before starting his officiant duties, because she could taste it.
His arm tightened as he backed her up, until she was leaning against a tree. Then his hands brushed hers off his face and he gripped the back of her head, moved it where he wanted. His other hand slipped under her blouse and rested on the bare skin of her back. His fingers were chilly but felt amazing against her almost overheated skin.
She gripped his shirt at his waist and held on for dear life as he kissed the living daylights out of her.
When he finally pulled back, they were both breathing hard.
“This changes things,” he said firmly.
Lara could only nod.
He leaned in and kissed her forehead. Then her temple. His hand was still tangled in her hair, and he had her completely pinned against the tree. But Lara didn’t feel trapped. If she made the slightest move to escape, he’d let her go. She had no doubt of that.
She didn’t want him to let go. She loved being in his arms. She felt safe there. Protected.
His gaze searched hers, and Lara did her best to exude confidence and sexiness. She wanted this man to want her as much as she wanted him.
Owl shook his head. “Bravest woman I know.”
“If I didn’t make the first move, I’m not sure you would’ve,” she admitted softly.
“You’re right. There’s no way I’d do anything that would remind you of…him.”
“You don’t,” Lara said with a small shake of her head. “Not even close. You won’t hurt me. Being with you is nothing like what he did. When you touch me, I crave more. When you look at me, all I see is concern, not perverted lust. I…I met with Henley the other day.”
“You did?” Owl asked.
Lara nodded. It was the first time she’d wanted to meet with the therapist without Owl by her side. Mainly because she wanted to talk about sex. She’d been the recipient of Carter’s warped idea of intimacy. It was one-sided, and he had no concern whatsoever for what she was thinking or feeling. In fact, he got off on treating her like an object. A thing. A vessel for him to release on.
Henley helped her see once and for all that what had been done to her wasn’t about sex at all. It was about control. Carter needed to do what he’d done to feel powerful. It was warped and depraved.
She’d left the session feeling stronger than she’d felt in months. More determined to show Owl that she wanted to be intimate with him.
“What Carter did…It wasn’t about attraction or need. Or even lust. I’m not afraid of being with you, Owl. I want that. I wantyou. And I don’t want to be just a dependent woman you’re trying to help anymore. I want to be me. Lara.”
