Page 4 of Deserving Lara
Lara opened her eyes and saw Owl asleep in the other corner of the couch. His head was resting back on the cushion and his mouth was partially open as he snored quietly. Lara took the time to study him while he was unaware.
Callen Kaufman, known as Owl to his friends, wasn’t like any other man she’d ever met. He kind of looked like Ed Sheeran—had reddish hair, bright green eyes, and a closely cropped beard and mustache. He was younger than her thirty-five by two years and looked kind of preppy. They were the same height, which Lara loved. She didn’t have to look up or down to see his eyes. He was fit and strong, but not hugely muscular like the other men who lived and worked at The Refuge. He didn’t ooze testosterone. But Lara knew without a doubt that if push came to shove, he’d do whatever it took to protect her from any danger. Had already done just that, in fact.
She didn’t have clear memories of her rescue from that house in Arizona, but one thing shedidremember was staring at Owl’s back as he stood between her and Carter Grant like a sentinel. Guarding her. Then she remembered his arms around her, but instead of being alarmed at the touch of another man she didn’t know, Lara had just…melted into him.
He was her safe place, had felt it instantly, and she somehow knew that if he left her side, she’d find herself right back in Carter’s clutches.
It was unreasonable and irrational, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that without this man, she’d be right back in the nightmare she couldn’t wake up from.
Over the last couple weeks or so, she’d finally been able to force herself to let Owl out of her sight. She struggled hard to make strides, to convince Owl she was getting better…but the truth was, she was just as messed up in her head now as she’d been in that basement.
Carter Grant was going to get a hold of her again. She had no doubt about that. He’d bragged about the other women he’d captured. The things he’d done to them. Especially loved telling her in detail how he’d killed them…and laughed because he hadn’t been caught.
But it was what he’d whispered in her ear one night after he’d finished playing with her that tumbled over and over in her mind.
You’re my favorite. I’m not giving you up. Ever. You’re mine.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
She wasn’t nearly ready yet, but the time was coming when she’d have to leave. The last thing she wanted was to lead Carter to The Refuge. To her best friend. To the men and women who lived here.
Her original plan had been to go to Alaska and hide out in one of those off-the-grid cabins. But she wasn’t so sure about that anymore. She didn’t knowwhereshe wanted to go, all she knew was that she didn’t want anyone else to be hurt because of her.
Lara opened her eyes and stared at Owl once again. On the surface, the man always looked calm and collected, but he was just as broken inside as she was. And for some reason, that made her lower her shields around him. He’d been through whatshehad. Well, not exactly, but he’d also been held against his will and tortured. He’d opened up and told her a few things that, according to him, he’d never told anyone else.
She was also the only one who knew about his insomnia. Other than his doctor in town, of course. It made her feel special that he’d told her something so private, even if she would have discovered it on her own eventually, given all the time they spent together.
He’d been so patient with her, not caring that he’d basically had to be in her line of sight twenty-four hours a day to ensure she didn’t freak out. He didn’t make her feel like a burden. Like she was crazy. He was kind and patient and bent over backward to do whatever he could to make sure she felt comfortable and safe.
Of course, she didn’t think she’d ever feel truly safe again. But she wasn’t going to admit that. Not even to Owl.
If she could ever love a man, it would probably be the one sleeping on the other end of the couch. But her dream of happily ever after had died a horrific death. She wasn’t as trusting as she once was. She second-guessed every single thing anyone said or did. She was newly cynical and wary of everyone’s motives. Once, she might’ve been a romantic, but Ridge Michaels, the man she’d thought loved her so much he couldn’t bear the thought of moving back to Arizona without her, had destroyed that part of her.
She wasgladhe was dead. Didn’t care that his family had been through the wringer after it came out that they’d employed a literal serial killer. That women had been tortured and murdered on their property in Phoenix.
Lara was harder now. Less naïve.
But Owl made her feel a tiny bit like her old self. At least when it was just the two of them in his cabin. She could relax around him because he’d made it abundantly clear he wasn’t interested in her romantically. He touched her, but usually just her hand, or at most a brief, platonic hug when she was at her lowest. She never saw anything but concern in his eyes. Nothing that would indicate he was interested in having some sort of relationship. Nothing beyond friendship, which she was grateful for.
But…a part of her, deep down, couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have Owl as her own. To do what she could to help him sleep at night. To let him take her in his arms and hold her tight when she got scared.
Shaking her head, Lara pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. No. Owl was her friend. She’d been forced on him, and he’d probably be very relieved when she left. She’d tell everyone she was going back to DC, although that was the last place she ever wanted to see again. Instead, she’d go somewhere else. Maybe overseas. She didn’t know.
All she knew was that she didn’t ever want to feel helpless again. Didn’t want Carter Grant to find her and lock her away in some dark, creepy basement so he could live out his sick fantasies with her for the rest of her life.
She needed to work harder to convince everyone she was back to her normal self. Going up to the lodge for meals. Interacting with the others here at The Refuge. Even if that was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted to stay here. Holed up. Safe with Owl. But no one would believe she was ready to move back to DC and get on with her life if she didn’t start acting like it.
So she’d put on a front. Lara had a feeling she could trick the men who lived here easily enough. She didn’t know them, and they didn’t know her.
But Cora would be much harder to deceive.
Thinking about her best friend made Lara a little teary-eyed. She’d heard from Owl all about what Cora had done for her. The lengths she’d gone to in order to convince someone, anyone, that Lara was in danger. To go to Phoenix and see for herself whether or not Lara was all right.
How she’d researched The Refuge, bid on Pipe at that bachelor auction, stood up to that bitch Eleanor, soldliterallyall her belongings, and put herself in grave danger by coming to Ridge’s house.
Lara would never be able to repay her, even though Cora insisted that they were now “even.” But befriending Cora back when they were in high school wasnothinglike what Cora had done for her.
What Cora didn’t know was, back in high school when they’d met, Lara had needed a friend just as badly as Cora. Her parents weren’t abusive, but they simply weren’t that interested in their daughter. Other kids thought Lara was stuck-up because of her family’s money, and because Lara never initiated any kind of conversations. She was smart, too smart to fit in with most other kids, and she’d had no interest in dating.
