Page 13 of Deserving Lara
“The first time I met with a psychologist at the hospital in Germany, after I was rescued? Before all the crying…I tried to punch him,” Owl said lazily.
Lara gasped and her eyes got huge. “You did not!” she said after a moment.
“I did,” Owl replied. “I was angry at just about everything and everyone. I didn’t appreciate him digging, wanting me to tell him every little thing that happened to me.”
“Did you get in trouble?” Lara asked worriedly.
“Nope. I was still weak as shit from my captivity and the guy subdued me in seconds. He actually praised me, said being able to get my emotions out was a good thing, even if it was just physically, and if I wanted to go head-to-head with him, he’d be more than willing to meet me in the gym and let me box it out.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. He was amazing. He ended up being the catalyst to my recovery. I only knew him for about two weeks before Stone and I were finally cleared to head back to the States, but I still email him every now and then and let him know how I’m doing. All I’m getting at is that things are usually awkward at first. You need to learn that you can trust Henley, that she’s on your side, and that takes time.”
Lara pressed her lips together. It wasn’t that she thought Henley didn’t want to help her; it was more than obvious the other woman was empathetic and probably very good at her job. But just like Owl, thelastthing Lara wanted to do was rehash what she’d been through. What Carter had done and said to her while she’d been mostly out of it because of the drugs he’d forced her to take.
Just thinking of the drugs made Lara uneasy. She ran her suddenly sweaty palms up and down her thighs.
Owl reached over and took one of her hands in his. It was one of the very few times he’d touched her without first asking her permission, or letting her choose to take his hand or not. And the feel of his bare fingers in hers felt instantly calming.
“Cut yourself some slack, sweetheart. It hasn’t been that long at all. But…if you really don’t want to keep your second appointment with Henley, I’m not going to force you. No one will force you to do anything you don’t want to.”
The fact that he was giving her an out made Lara’s spine straighten. She’d never been a quitter in her life, and she really didn’t want to start now.
Then she thought of her best friend, and how much Cora had been through in her life…how she kept on chugging along. That was even more incentive to get her to shake her head. “I want to. I…want to get better.” That in itself was a revelation for Owl, she knew. Because for a while there, she’d proven herself unwilling to do much of anything. Had been content to hide and not talk to anyone.
But she had to admit, the more she got out and about on The Refuge, the more shewantedto. “You’ll still come with me, right?” she asked tentatively.
“Of course,” Owl said, squeezing her fingers before finally letting go.
Lara felt the loss of his warmth down to her toes, but she forced herself to lean back on the couch as if it didn’t impact her.
“You want to try again?” Owl asked, taking off the 3D goggles and holding them out to her.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever get the hang of this,” she said with a grimace, but she reached for the goggles anyway.
“You will,” he said firmly. “It just takes practice.”
She watched as he switched the difficulty level back to beginner and took the controllers from him with a sigh.
“All right, slow and steady,” Owl said.
Lara thought that could probably be a motto for her entire life. She’d always moved cautiously—except for one time. With Ridge and her move to Arizona. And that certainly hadn’t worked out very well.
Forcing her mind away from the colossal bad decision she’d made, Lara concentrated on trying not to crash the simulated helicopter.
* * *
She shouldn’t have had so much for lunch.
That was the only thing Lara could think as she sat across from Henley.
After she’d crashed the fake chopper a few more times, Owl had called it quits and they’d headed up to the lodge for lunch. She’d sat at a table with a woman who’d been stalked by a co-worker for months. He’d recently been killed in a confrontation with the police, right outside her front door. The woman admitted that she still wasn’t able to go about her normal activities without looking over her shoulder, and every time her doorbell rang, she had flashbacks.
There were also two former military men at the table, and while Lara didn’t know their stories—as they didn’t volunteer any information about why they were at The Refuge—she could see that they were hyper-aware of everything around them and anyone who walked into the room.
Kind of like Owl and his friends. She hadn’t missed the way Owl’s head was constantly on a swivel, how he scrutinized each and every person who walked into the lodge. For some reason, that comforted her. She could let down her guard, just a little, while she was with him out in public. That was why she’d latched onto him so desperately when she’d left that house in Arizona. Even while heavily drugged, a part of her knew he’d never let anyone hurt her.
Henley cleared her throat, and Lara realized she’d actually tuned the other woman out. She gave her a sheepish look. “I’m sorry, what?”
