Page 56 of Deserving Cora
“Cora,” he said in a low tone, so as not to startle her. “Wake up.”
His words didn’t seem to penetrate through her nightmare.
“I promise I won’t cause any trouble. Don’t send me back!”
Pipe’s heart couldn’t take another moment. He sat on the edge of the mattress and put his hands on her shoulders, gently shaking her as he tried to wake her again. “Cora, love, wake up. You’re okay, you’re having a nightmare.”
In response, her eyes popped open and she stared at him blankly for a moment…before she took a huge shuddering breath that turned into a sob.
Pipe reclined next to her and pulled her into his embrace. If he’d thought about it, he might not have acted so boldly. But he was too desperate to soothe her. “Shhhh,” he murmured as he felt her curl into his chest. “You’re okay. It was only a dream. You’re safe.”
His hands smoothed up and down her back as he held her against his bare chest. He just now realized that he’d come to her wearing only a pair of boxers. He usually slept naked, but in deference to her being in his house, he’d put on underwear. Cora didn’t seem to notice or care what he was or wasn’t wearing. She shoved her nose into his chest and he could feel her trembling against him.
“It wasn’t a dream,” she said after she got her breathing under control. “It was a memory. One of many. I’d get to a new home, let down my guard, and then find out they were sending me back. I was too old, too quiet, too loud, too stupid, too slow, too ugly…” She sighed. “In the end, the reasons didn’t matter. I was like a stray dog they’d taken in, only to realize I was more trouble than they’d bargained for.”
Pipe hated the despair he heard in her voice. “That’s on them,” he said a little too harshly, but unable to tone it down. “You did nothing wrong.”
She didn’t reply, just seemed to try to get even closer.
Pipe realized with sudden clarity that she probably hadn’t had a lot of physical affection in her life. Being in the foster system most likely meant few hugs growing up. He tightened his arms around her. Well, that was done, starting now. He would make sure this woman knew she was worthy of love. Of being loved. Of being touched in an affectionate way. He’d never been a demonstrative guy, but for Cora? He could change.
They lay like that, Cora plastered against his chest, for a long time. Pipe thought she’d fallen asleep, and he loosened his hold on her, intending to go back to his room. But as soon as he tried to slip away, she whimpered and grabbed for him.
“Stay?” she whispered, as soon as his arms were around her once more.
“Are you sure?”
In response, Cora nodded against him. “I’ll probably be embarrassed as hell tomorrow, but I…Will you stay? It’s not an invitation for…you know. I just…you feel so good. Safe.”
Pipe forced his anger down. He hated that she had to spell out that she didn’t want him to stay for sex. Of course she didn’t. She’d had a bad dream and was feeling off-kilter. He wasn’t the kind of man who would ever take advantage of that. “No need to be embarrassed,” he told her. “I’ve never been as comfortable as I am right now, love.”
Neither of them said anything else. Pipe didn’t feel the need for words. He was content to hold the woman in his arms and be her shelter from the storm of memories that were doing their best to overwhelm her.
She fell asleep a few minutes after he’d promised to stay, and Pipe lay awake holding her, his mind going a million miles an hour.
He’d heard the saying, “Be kind. Everyone you meet is going through a battle you know nothing about,” many times, but tonight was the first time he truly understood it. From the outside, Cora looked like she had things together. She had a job, a best friend, and gave off vibes that said she was tough and content, if not happy. But deep down, she was struggling. Just like he was some days.
For the most part, Pipe was satisfied with his life. But he still held resentment for what had happened on that last mission. For feeling as if he had no choice but to move to a different country and join forces with men he didn’t know in order to survive.
Those men had become his best friends. The Refuge was as much a part of him as being an SAS soldier had been. And yet, there were days he didn’t want to do a damn thing but sit on his rooftop and be bitter about his past.
Cora had been through much worse, and at such a tender age. When she should’ve been worrying about boys, or makeup, or test scores, she’d had to think about where she’d be sleeping night after night. Wondering if an adult entrusted with her care might try to abuse her in the worst way. And the emotional toll of all that trauma was clear. Here she was, almost forty, and she still had nightmares about her childhood.
Pipe rested his chin on the top of her head and closed his eyes. He wished he could go back in time and make things right for her, but of course that was impossible. What hecoulddo was make sure that the one person in the world she knew without a doubt loved her exactly how she was, Lara, was all right.
After that? He’d work hard to prove that shewasloved by others. That she had friends and support. That just because others had turned their backs on her, didn’t meanhewould.
He should’ve been way more panicked at the direction his mind was going, but instead, Pipe felt only peace.
He’d already decided that if she was receptive to the idea, he’d happily move to Washington, DC, to see where things between them might go.
But lying there with Cora in his arms…he changed his mind.
Instead of immediately offering to move across the country, he’d first try his best to convince her to stayhere. In New Mexico. At The Refuge. Brick, Spike, and Tonka’s women had done the same thing, and they were deliriously happy.
Cora loved The Refuge, that wasn’t hard to see, even after the short time she’d been there. She fit here. It was a place of peace and healing, which she needed. And going back to DC, where people like Eleanor and others couldn’t see the amazing person Cora was, felt completely wrong.
There were preschools in Los Alamos where she could work…and hadn’t they all talked about opening up The Refuge to people with children? Maybe she could be in charge of a childcare center right there on the property.
