Page 39 of Deserving Cora
“I waited until darkness fell, then I crawled out of there, aware that any second I could be discovered and finished off with a bullet to my brain. By some bloody miracle, I made it to the outskirts of the town and into the forest. I crawled, stumbled, and walked back to our base, which was over five kilometers away. When I told my superior office what happened, he clapped me on the back, said he was sorry for the loss of my men, then reminded me that my missions were top secret. Basically, he was warning me that if I told anyone what happened, my career was over.
“But what he didn’t understand was that it wasalreadyover. I was done. How could I go back to being the man I was before? A man who’d believed that those he worked for had his best interests in mind? They left me and my men to die and didn’t think twice about it. And for what? Because the town was between our temporary base and the airfield we used to bring in supplies.”
“I’m so sorry,” Cora said, at a loss for anything else to say.
“I was up for reenlistment that year and declined. I had a hard time acclimating to civilian life,” Pipe admitted. “I started getting tattoos shortly after. The pain of the needle seemed to be the only thing that turned off the noise in my head. If Tex hadn’t hooked me up with Brick and the others, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me.”
Cora shifted and rested her head on Pipe’s shoulder. With no idea what to say, she decided to support him nonverbally instead.
“Intellectually, I know it wasn’t my country’s fault…what happened to my teammates. It was a decision made by one man, or maybe a group of them. What they did that day doesn’t reflect on an entire country. But I can’t help but feel as if England deserted me. I was happy to move to the States. Don’t get me wrong, there are just as many or more issues with the United States government, but still…being here in New Mexico lets me breathe. I haven’t felt the urge to get more ink since relocating.
“You asked me what I would want if money was no object, and to finally answer your question…nothing. I’ve got everything I could ask for. A group of friends I know without a shred of a doubt will have my back if things go to shit. A cabin in the woods where I wake up every morning and breathe the clean air. A purpose in helping others deal with the demons in their head. I’d be selfish to ask for anything more.”
Cora lifted her head, and he turned to meet her gaze. “You don’t want a family?”
Pipe shrugged. “I feel as if that would be asking for too much. Tipping the scales into the greedy category.”
Cora smiled at him. “I don’t think that’s how the world works.”
“Don’t want to chance it. But I’ll tell you this, if I ever found a woman who loved me exactly as I am—slightly damaged, scary as hell to little kids and old women—and who could live out here in the middle of nowhere without blinking? I’d bend over backward to give her whatever she wanted. Jewelry, designer clothes, kids. It wouldn’t matter. I’d give her everything.”
“And if all she wanted was someone to love her without strings and with no reservations?” Cora whispered.
“Any woman of mine would know down to her soul that I’d die for her,” Pipe said simply.
Goose bumps rose on Cora’s arms. They were having a philosophical and hypothetical conversation…weren’t they? Somehow, it felt like more.
It was almost scary how in tune with Pipe she felt. They were two people from opposite ends of the world. Raised completely differently, with contrasting experiences…and yet, she’d never felt as close to anyone as she did Pipe right that moment. Even Lara.
“I think she’d rather youlivedfor her,” Cora whispered.
“Yeah,” Pipe said before taking a deep breath. “You want to continue the tour?”
“Sure,” she said. She was looking forward to seeing the rest of The Refuge, but mostly she wanted to spend more time with Pipe.
He stood while still holding her hand, helping her to her feet. Then he moved his hand to the small of her back as he led her back through the barn. He did that a lot, and while Cora had never liked when people she didn’t know touched her, she found that she actually felt safer when Pipe had his hand on her.
She peeked up at him while they were walking and noticed how alert he was. His eyes constantly scanned his surroundings, as if he expected someone to jump out from around a bale of hay or something. But now that he’d opened up, and told her about why he’d left the military, she understood a little better.
And instead of making her feel wary that he was a little bit paranoid, it felt…reassuring. She remembered how he’d done the same thing in DC, his head constantly on a swivel, looking for trouble. It was something she did all the time herself, but it felt good to have him on alert as well. With him on guard, Cora felt as if she could let down the shield she always had up. With Pipe near, nothing and no one would hurt her. She had no doubt about that.
“Come on, I’ll show you the guest cabins, where our owner cabins are, and if you’re up to it, maybe take you on a little hike.”
“Ooooh, will you show me Table Rock?”
Pipe chuckled as he looked down at her. “Stalker,” he teased.
Cora grinned. “Yup,” she retorted. She’d seen the beautiful pictures former guests had posted of the sites around the property, always tagging The Refuge. And she couldn’t wait to see Table Rock for herself.
A small part of her still felt guilty that she was enjoying herself while Lara was enduring whatever she was going through, but the time would come soon enough to rescue her friend. In the meantime, Cora was going to soak up every bit of good karma this place could offer.
CHAPTERELEVEN
Cora sat around the table with The Refuge staff and guests at dinner that evening, enjoying Robert’s delicious food and reflecting on her day. She was even more impressed with this place than she’d been before, and that was saying something, because she’d already been enthralled by what she’d seen online.
The Refuge truly was a place where people could come to relax. To get away from whatever demons they had in their heads and lives. Table Rock had exceeded all her expectations. She could imagine what it would look like when there were leaves on the trees in either the summer or fall. But even with the bare trees, the view had taken her breath away.
She’d stood on the rock looking out over the vista for at least ten minutes, feeling…small. She’d never been much of a nature girl. Growing up in the city and having lived there all her life, she hadn’t really spent time camping or hiking in the woods. Standing on the edge of that rock and looking out at the miles and miles of forest suddenly made the things she experienced on an everyday basis, annoyances that could put her in a bad mood for hours, seem so petty.
