Page 20 of Resolve
How much is she still carrying with her? How is she able to smile like she does? Love, as she does?
“But I can’t imagine what you must have felt being forced to kill your own brother.”
The silence in the room is deafening. My heart pounds in my ears, shock slipping through my limbs like ice.
“The room... it’s too messy for Charles. He would have been quick, or it wouldn’t have been so bloody unless there was a struggle,” Raegan explains, her voice barely more than a whisper. She raises her hands, and a reddish glow encompasses them when she touches the metal band holding the girl back, reducing it to ash.
“Raegan,” Aiden warns, stepping closer.
She wraps her arms around the girl who doesn’t move, doesn’t fight it. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. No one should ever have to see someone they love be killed. And making you do it was sick and evil.He’sevil. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t you.”
The girl’s self-control snaps. She grabs Raegan’s arms and breaks down into sobs and cries of anguish. “Harvey! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She curls into Rae, her face bright red and soaked as she clings to her. “I did it! I couldn’t say no! H-he was going to kill me, too! I d-didn't want to die! I’m sorry!”
“Dane. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better sister to you.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save you. I’m so fucking sorry.”
The weight in my chest expands, swallowing me in a black hole of sudden despair.
Vera!
I clutch at my chest, stumbling from the apartment and falling to my hands and knees as I gasp for air. The grief twists like a corkscrew, tighter and tighter as I battle to breathe through the shaking that’s consumed my entire body.
What if there was another way?
Did I give up too soon?
Could I have saved her from Royce without her dying?
Why did this happen?
How could I let my sister die twice?
Fuck, I’m going to be sick.
My stomach rolls, burning my throat as I force it back down. I tuck my forehead against my arm, breathing in the hardwood floor of the hallway—the rich mahogany smell that proves it’s real hardwood and not the fake stuff. I absorb the coolness of the wood through my cheek, closing my eyes.
This was what she wanted. She said it herself.
Because she thought it was the only answer. What if I’d found another way?
And how many more years would she have been used and torturedby Royce before I finally accepted that this was the only way for it to end?
The constriction in my chest eases, filling in with a steadier ache instead. I push myself upright, then fall back against the wall. It still hurts. Still weighs like bricks of loss chained to my heart. But I can breathe. The tension slowly fades from my muscles, and I wipe my face clear of the tears that’d fallen.
I’m not holding on to the grief as I did last time.
I’m sad she’s gone.
But I’m happy she’s not Royce’s puppet anymore.
We did save her, I remind myself.Just not in the way I wanted.
Chapter eight
Raegan
Closingthedoortothe spare room, I take a deep breath. Talking to her, sharing those pieces of my past... it took a lot out of me. I feel disoriented. Weak. Brittle. Each slow breath helps to reinforce my mental and emotional walls, clearing my head so I can focus on what’s next. So I can look the others in the eye without shame or guilt.
