Page 51 of Remnants
The doors slam, breaking the sound of the woods abruptly and taking away the small light that it had provided. Jackson’s standing at my back, his hand on my hip to keep me grounded and with him. Someone walks up to me, and then a soft white glow illuminates between us, revealing Dane. He holds his other hand out to me. I take it, allowing his fingers to split mine.
“I’ve got her,” he tells Jack, who nods and walks to the trunk. I turn away from it. I’ll look at him when it’s time, but not until then. We’re on the side of a dirt road in the middle of the woods, the road rising and winding up ahead of us and a cliff on the opposite side.
Aiden moves in front of us and pivots so he can see everyone. His gaze falls on mine, and I hate how vulnerable I feel right now. This isn’t me. I know I’m stronger than this. Better than this. But something about Gordon always breaks me down to the names he’d called me. His presence gives strength to the whispers, the self-doubt.
I look away, hating that he’s seeing me like this, but not having the strength to muster any snark or challenge his way.
Not tonight.
I miss his expression after that, but it’s probably for the best. I just need to get through this night, and then I hope to seal away this weakness forever.
“It’s a bit of a hike to the spot. Are you ready?” Aiden asks.
Ready to be rid of Gordon, once and for all?
“I’m ready.”
The walk is just as quiet as the first hour of the car ride. Aiden leads us, his flashlight turned on and the GPS open on his phone to guide us to whatever spot he’d picked out.
Finally, he stops, and Kellan drives a shovel into the dirt where Aiden’s indicated.
I let go of Dane’s hand and grab the only free shovel since Kellan’s already started digging with his.
“Put the shovel down,” Aiden starts.
“You don’t need to do that,” Dane adds, moving up to my side.
I stab the shovel into the ground again, burying it deeper with one foot, then angling it back. “No, and yes. I do,” I say without stopping. “I can’t just stand around waiting. I need to do something.”
Dane makes a frustrated noise and moves out of my way.
“Why are there only two shovels?” he demands of Aiden.
“We’re only making a hole wide enough for the body. Any more than two people, and we’d be bumping into each other or causing unnecessary injuries.”
I don’t know where Jackson’s gone, although I assume it has something to do with the body. Kellan and I keep digging, and the physical labor helps take the edge off for a little bit.
Until it doesn’t.
Until I keep losing myself to memories of my time with Gordon.
Memories when he’d threatened me.
Threatened the others.
Called me worthless. Useless. Dangerous. A monster.
How he’d always drag me back up after I’d collapsed, demanding more from me than I ever thought I could give. And somehow, I’d do it. I’d manage to accomplish what he wanted, and he’d let me sleep.
The words he’d slip into my head like venom, seeping into my mind and taking root. Words that cut me down. Words that offeredme hope with him. Words of backhanded praise. Words and words and words. Over and over again.
Who needs a weapon or a gift when words can be so powerful to destroy a person?
“That’s enough.” The shovel jerks to a stop as my chest heaves gasping breaths. Now that it’s still, I feel my arms tremble. It’s from digging, I’m sure, until I feel something tickle my jaw. A drop of water falls to the dirt. The hole is four feet wide and probably three feet deep. There’s still more to be done.
Kellan has paused his efforts to watch our exchange. I look up at Aiden, who has taken my shovel captive. “I can keep going.”
“Maybe you can, but we can’t.” He tugs one of my hands free and scrutinizes it in the dim light of a fire someone built while I’d been working. His thumb trails over my palm, and a sharp pinch of pain makes me flinch. He frowns. “None of us can stand still and watch you hurt yourself any longer. I’ve let it go on long enough, if not too long. It looks like that will blister.”
