Page 24 of Ramshackle
“Hey, you.”
I blink out of my thoughts and look up to see my sister has joined me in the living room. She looks exactly like the girl I remember. Older, but still Vera. She even smiles at me like she used to. In the way that says she enjoys spending time with me.
I can’t wrap my head around the different person I see when the others are around. When it’s just me and her, I can almost pretend that things are…normal. That she’s really back and we’re just catching up on all of the lost time together.
And then she’ll have random outbursts that completely throw me for a loop. She’ll pout or say nasty things that aren’t like my sister at all.
All I’m left to wonder is, which one is real? I know which one was real back when we were kids, but now? Is she putting on a show of what she remembers we acted like? Or am I bringing out the actual Vera, and the GE influence slips out when I’m not around or when something triggers her?
“I thought you were picking out a movie for us to watch.” Her more golden brown than green hazel eyes flick to the case of movies I’m standing in front of.
I look back at them. “Oh. Right.” We agreed to watch a movie since she was tired of watching shows on TV or playing video games. I’m surprised we haven’t tried watching movies together earlier, but then I remember that she usually lost interest in them halfway through and we’d never finish them in the past.
That, and it feels more like a me and Raegan thing.
Which is dumb. You can’t hoard something like movies for only one person.
…is what I tell myself, but that doesn’t explain why I’ve been staring at the movies without reallylookingat them all this time. Something in me doesn’t want to pick. It wants her to grow impatient and decide on something else.
“Oh, what about this one?” Vera tugs on a movie, and my jaw tenses involuntarily when I see which one it is.
“Not that one,” I bite out, grabbing it and shoving it back onto the shelf.
“Wow, not aJumanjifan? You didn’t need to take my hand off, though, geez. Let’s do a horror movie, then.Saw?” she asks rather than pulling it out this time.
I remember Raegan curled up against me as she watched through parted fingers.
“No.”
Vera huffs but doesn’t push it. The difference in attitude she gives me compared to the others is glaring, but I let it go. I’m her brother. Of course, she’s going to treat me differently. “Fine.Napoleon Dynamite.”
I can tell she’s jumping genres to try and figure out what mood I’m in, but that movie brings me back to all the inside jokes I’d had with Rae over the movie on the island. I dressed up asNapoleon and she dressed up as Debbie for fun one time, and the look on Aiden’s face had beenpriceless. A forever memory.
“No.”
“Well, then you pick one. You can’t just say no to all of them.”
Can’t I?Every movie reminds me that Raegan isn’t here. That she sacrificed everything for me and Vera. What are they doing to her right now while I’m chatting over movie choices with my sister?
Why didn’t she fight harder against them? Why give in so easily? Because of us? Because of Vera?
Because of me?
I should have stopped her. Kell and Aiden were stuck in that asshole’s lightning, but he’d left Reid and me alone when we didn’t move. If I was fast enough, could I have grabbed her?
I didn’t try hard enough. This is my fault. She did this because of her promise to me to get me reunited with Vera.
The sad part of all this is that I can’t even focus on Vera since Raegan’s been gone. I can’t stop thinking about what I should have done differently. And stressing out over whatever the fuck that Gordon guy is doing with her.
I’m not saying I’m giving up on my sister or I don’t want to try. I do. I will fix this. But I can’t concentrate on that until Raegan is back. I can’t abandon her like we did the last time.
“Dane!” Vera snaps impatiently, breaking me out of my thoughts again.
Right. Movie. I scan over them. It should be easy to find a movie that came out after we were on the island that I didn’t see with her before, but we were doing a crazy job of playing catch up in the days before everything went to shit.
My eyes catch on a title that we haven’t watched yet and I grab it. No memories come to mind when I look at it, even though it’s an older movie, but maybe I didn’t discover it until after the island. “Got one.”
“Ugh. Finally. Put it on and make some popcorn or something.” She flounces over to the couch and plops onto it without offering to help with any of it. Raegan would at least make the popcorn and drinks or grab some candies to snack on for us while I was getting it set up.
