Page 86 of A House of Gold
Later, after hours of being stuck in my own head, there's a knock. Nat enters with fresh clothes and a carefully neutral expression.
"Croesus asked me to check on you," he says. "Make sure you're recovering."
"He couldn't come himself?"
"He's busy." Nat doesn't elaborate and sets clothes on a chair. "How are you feeling?"
"Confused. Angry. Like I just got whiplash from someone who can't decide if I'm a person or a possession."
Nat winces. "He does that. The hot and cold. The walls." He sits on the edge of the bed. "He cares. That's why he's pulling away. Caring is dangerous for someone like him."
"Why?"
"Because everything he cares about, he tries to own. And everything he owns eventually breaks or leaves." Nat's voice is gentle. "You're the first thing he's cared about in centuries that he can't just acquire. And he knows in less than a year, you'll be gone. You'll belong to Seraph. Then the others. It's terrifying for him."
"So he pushes me away."
"So he protects himself. And you, in a twisted way. If he doesn't let himself care too much, it'll hurt less when you move on to the next house."
"I'm not..." I stop. Because Iammoving on. That's the deal. One year per house. Even if I want to help them, even if I'm starting to care about Croesus, I'll still have to leave when my time is up. "It's complicated. I want to help him. Figure out how to free him from the greed."
Nat studies me for a long moment. "You're falling for him."
"No." The denial dies in my throat. Because I am. It’s dangerous. Something that's making me want impossible things. "It's complicated."
"It always is with angels." He stands. "Get dressed. Come down to the library when you're ready. I'll show you more ofyour grandmother's research. If you're really going to attempt this insanity, you should know what you're walking into."
He leaves. I sit there in Croesus's bed, wearing his shirt, surrounded by his scent, and try to figure out what I'm becoming.
Not the woman who walked into this house a few weeks ago. Not the sin eater who just wanted to survive her year and go home.
Someone new. Someone who's seen the suffering underneath the gold and can't look away.
Someone who might be falling for an angel who can't decide if she's his salvation or his destruction.
I get dressed and look at myself in the mirror. The forty-seventh tattoo, a coin, gleams silver-gold on my arm. A mark of understanding. A brand of connection.
I trace it with my finger and make a decision. If Croesus wants to pull away, fine. If he wants to pretend this is just business, I'll let him. But I'm not giving up on breaking the curse. I'm not walking away from the mission.
Even if it means doing it alone.
Even if it means he never lets me close again.
I leave his chambers and head to the library, ready to learn everything I can about freeing all of them. And with it, saving countless souls. And myself..
I’m ready to become the kind of person who can do the impossible.
Or die trying.
20
The invitation appears on my pillow three days after Croesus walks away from me.
Black parchment. Gold ink. His handwriting is elegant as usual and reveals nothing.
You are required to attend the Convocation of Houses tonight at sunset. Formal attire will be provided. Do not be late.
No signature. No explanation. Just orders.
