Page 154 of A House of Gold
And now I'm about to bind myself to all of them.
Permanently, probably.
The thought should terrify me more than it does. Maybe I'm just too exhausted for proper terror. Or maybe some part of me has already accepted that my life stopped being mine to live the way I wanted the moment I opened those seven letters.
A knock at the door pulls me from my spiraling thoughts.
"Come in," I call, sitting up.
The door opens. Croesus.
He's changed from his earlier formal clothes into something simpler, black pants, a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair is loose, falling past his shoulders, and in the soft light of my room he looks... younger. More vulnerable.
I’d been spiraling, so hadn’t noticed his closeness, but now I feel his turmoil. His fear. His desperate need to touch me, to reassure himself I'm still here.
"Couldn't sleep either?" I ask.
"No." He closes the door behind him, leans against it. "The others are preparing. Gathering what we need for the ritual. Warding the space. I should be helping, but..." He trails off.
"But you needed to see me."
"Yes." His gold eyes find me unerringly despite his blindness. "One last time. Before everything changes."
The words hang heavy in the air.
I pat the bed beside me. "Sit."
He moves across the room with his usual prowling grace, settles on the edge of the bed. Close but not touching. The space between us feels charged, electric.
"Are you afraid?" he asks quietly.
"Terrified."
"Good. Fear will keep you careful during the ritual." His hands are clasped in his lap, knuckles white with tension. "There are things that can go wrong. If the bonds form too quickly, if you pull too much power–"
"Croesus."
"--or if any of them lose control during the binding, if their sin overwhelms the ritual–"
"Croesus."
"--you could die. Or worse. You could survive but be permanently damaged. I've seen bonds go wrong, seen what happens when–"
I take his hand, thread my fingers through his. I feel his terror spike at the contact, then slowly begin to ease.
"I'm going to be fine," I tell him.
"You can't know that."
"No. But I can choose to believe it." I squeeze his hand. "And you're going to be there. All of you. You won't let me die. Hopefully."
The joke falls flat. "What if we can't stop it? What if the magic is too strong, too unpredictable?" His voice cracks. "What if I lose you because I agreed to this insane plan?"
I pull him closer, cup his face with my free hand. "Look at me."
His gold eyes meet mine, blind but seeing in ways that have nothing to do with sight.
"You're not going to lose me," I say firmly. "Tomorrow, we kill an archangel. Tonight, we create bonds that might save my life. And yes, it's dangerous. Yes, it's terrifying. But it's also our only option without breaking the treaty which keeps everything balanced. Even the human world would suffer if Heaven and you fought."
