Page 77 of A House of Gold
"She doesn't want to help," Victoria says, but her voice wavers as she addresses Croesus. "She wants to steal from me. Everyone wants to steal. That's why I need more. To protect what's mine."
"I'm not going to steal from you." I crouch in front of her so we're eye level. "I'm going to break your contract. Free you from this hunger."
"No." Her hands grip the desk so hard her knuckles go white. "No, you can't. If you break it, I'll lose everything. I'll be nothing. I'll have nothing."
"You'll have yourself back." I look at Croesus. "How bad is this going to be?"
"Worse than the pride." His voice is flat. "This is fifteen years of my particular curse. Concentrated. Feeding on itself. When you absorb it–" He stops. "You'll feel what I feel. Every moment of every day. And it will try to kill you."
"Great." I turn back to Victoria. "I need you to trust me."
"I don't trust anyone."
"I know. The greed won't let you." I pull out my knife. "But you're going to have to try."
I cut my palm. Reach for her hand. She jerks away.
"Don't touch me. Don't touch what's mine."
"Victoria." Croesus moves behind her, places his hands on her shoulders. "Let her help you. Please."
The please seems to break something. She goes still, and I see tears on her face.
"I'm so tired," she whispers. "I'm so empty. Nothing fills it. Nothing ever fills it."
"I know," I say softly. "I'm going to fix it."
I take her hand. Cut her palm. Press our blood together.
And pull.
The greed hits me like drowning in razor blades.
Not a single overwhelming sensation, this is layered. Wave after wave of hunger crashing over me, each one worse than the last, building and building until I can't breathe, can't think, can't exist as anything except need.
I need more. More money. More power. More gold, more jewels, more property, more everything. The three billion isn't enough. Will never be enough. I could swallow the sun and still feel cold. I could drink the ocean and still die of thirst. The hunger is a black hole with teeth, consuming everything and satisfied by nothing.
But that's just the surface.
Underneath, there's the emptiness. A void so vast and so complete that no amount of wealth could ever fill it. Every dollar, every asset, every acquisition, it all pours into that void and vanishes like water into sand, like trying to fill a cemetery with laughter. I'm trying to satisfy an appetite that has no bottom, no end, no possible satiation.
And underneath that, deepest of all, is loneliness.
The isolation of having everything and feeling nothing. Of being a king on a throne of ashes. Of taking and taking and taking and never once feeling satisfied, never once feeling full, never once feeling enough.
This is what Croesus feels.
This is what he's felt for three thousand years. Three thousand years of drowning in a desert of gold.
The chains break. Victoria gasps and collapses. I hear Croesus catch her, lower her to the floor gently.
But I can't focus on that because the greed is eating me alive.
I need to acquire. Need to claim. Need to take. This penthouse, it should be mine. Victoria's wealth, mine. Croesus's gold, mine. The House, the vault, the entire domain, mine minemine...
I'm on my knees. When did I fall? My hands are on the floor, and I'm trying to hold on but there's nothing to hold onto because the greed is telling me the floor is mine, the building is mine, the city is mine, the world is mine and I need to take it, need to claim it, need to?—
My fingers dig into marble like I'm trying to claw through to the foundation, to the bedrock, to the center of the earth itself. I want to swallow the world whole. "Raven." Croesus's voice cuts through the roar. "We need to go. Now."
