Page 130 of A House of Gold
"Would that be so terrible?" His voice drops. "If I kept you safe? Protected? Alive?"
"Yes." I squeeze his hands. "Because that's not living. That's just...existing. Waiting. And I didn't survive everything I have so far just to spend the rest of my life locked away."
He flinches like I've hit him. I feel his pain, sharp and immediate. Because he knows I'm right. Knows that keeping me locked away is exactly what he wants to do and exactly what will destroy me.
"I can't lose you," he says finally. Quietly. "I won't survive it."
"You would."
"No." His voice is certain. "I wouldn't. Three thousand years of emptiness, Raven. Three thousand years of wanting everything and feeling nothing. And then you," He stops, struggling for words. "You make me feel. Not just want. Not just hunger. But need. Actual, desperate need."
My heart pounds. "Croesus..."
"I've wanted many things," he continues, the words spilling out like he can't hold them back anymore. "I've wanted gold and jewels and souls. I've wanted power and territory and influence. I've wanted everything this world has to offer and then everything it doesn't." His eyes meet mine. "But I've neverneededanything. Until you."
The admission hangs in the air between us. Raw and vulnerable and terrifying.
"That's your curse talking," I say softly. "The greed."
"The greed is want. This is different." His hands tighten on my shoulders. "When you were dying, I felt it through the binding. Felt you slipping away. And the only thing I could think was that I would tear apart the world to keep you here. Not because I want to possess you. But because I need you to exist."
I can't breathe. Can't think. All I can do is feel the truth of his words through the binding, the way his need for me is different from his endless wanting. Deeper. More real. More dangerous to both of us.
"I love you." The words come out before I can stop them. "I don't want to. It's terrible timing and probably suicidal and definitely complicated. But I love you."
He freezes and exhales hard through his nose. "Raven."
"You don't have to say it back. I know you can't. Not with the contract, not with everything you are." I'm babbling now, words tumbling out in a rush. "But I needed you to know. Because lifeis too short, or too long in your case, to not say the things that matter."
For a long moment, he just stares at me. Then, slowly, carefully, he pulls me into his arms.
Not possessively. Not hungrily. Just holding me. Like I'm something precious that might break.
"I don't know if I can love you," he says into my hair. "I don't know if all these years of greed left me with the capacity for that. But I know I need you. I know losing you would unmake me. I know that when I thought you were dying, I would have traded everything, my house, my power, my immortality, to save you." He pulls back enough to look at me. "If that's not love, it's close enough to destroy me."
Tears burn behind my eyes. Because it's the closest thing to a confession of love he's probably capable of. And it's more honest than any pretty words could be.
"We're a mess," I say.
"Yes."
"This is going to end badly."
"Probably."
"But we're doing it anyway."
"Yes." His thumb brushes my cheekbone. "Because I'm too greedy to let you go, and you're too stubborn to run."
I laugh, broken and wet and real. "That's the worst love story I've ever heard."
"It's ours." He kisses my forehead, gentle and claiming all at once. "And I'm keeping it."
Through the binding, I feel his determination crystallize. He's not locking me away. He's not hiding me in a vault. But he's also not letting me face this alone.
We're in this together now. For better or worse.
Probably worse. Definitely worse.
