Page 11 of On a Pale Horse
He cleared his throat. “She came in after Bianca left and she was too taken to leave. I had to distract her.”
Cloris narrowed her eyes and stalked toward the dress and clothes on the floor. “Let’s go, Lady. Private party here. Get out.”
The woman jumped from the bed as if shocked and headed toward the door as Cloris pushed her. She stopped when she reached Hades and almost melted for him again, but Cloris continued pushing her out the door before slamming it and locking it behind her.
He spun around so she could see his hands. “Can you untie me, please?”
Cloris came up behind him in a cloud of lily scent. “What is going on? Bianca just told me you needed to see me and to meet you here. Why are you naked?”
He wanted to explain it, but shame beat at him and he couldn’t form the words. For the first time in longer than he could remember, he felt the prickle of tears at the corner of his eyes. If that stranger had touched him, he wasn’t sure if he could hold the nightmares at bay.
Cloris release his hands and he shook off the emotion, pressed it from his head into his belly and down to his feet, mentally. Once he knew his face was blank, he turned to her again. “It was nothing. I was trying to get your attention, and it backfired.”
She stared down at him, and he hated seeing that look in her eyes. The look that made him feel like she was only there to babysit him, as was his job as a Horseman, rather than her wanting to be there from some sort of emotion connection.
He wanted her to want him. Not because he’d become some sort of burden to her over the years.
Cloris reached out to him and he ducked out of her reach, heading toward his pile of clothes. Why had he even thought this would work? Nothing ever worked for him. Nothing. And here he stood, feeling even worse about their relationship now that he couldn’t even get the woman he loved to want him in return.
He jerked his clothes on as fast as he could before glancing back at her. She stood staring at the bed with her arms crossed under her breasts. He imagined running his hand down her arms and pulling her in close. But that wasn’t their relationship. They didn’t comfort each other. They both presented an outward front of perfect calm and collection. Inside, he roiled, needing her. He wondered if she fought the same.
Unable to contain it any longer, he took a step toward her and swallowed the tiny fragment of pride left to him. “I need to know how you feel about me.”
He squared his shoulders and lifted his chin, intent on taking whatever she would say like a man. And then walking away forever if that’s what she asked of him.
She didn’t buy time by asking him to repeat himself. She also didn’t turn around to face him but stared at the bed. The silence stretched tight and thin. A candy caramel surface ready to splinter and break at the slightest pressure. He grew tempted to hold his breath, give her a little more time. As much as she needed as long as she said what he wanted to hear.
Finally, she turned toward him. “I love you.”
Her words almost dropped him to his knees.
His hands shook as he reached out to her, but she didn’t approach.
She walked out without another word, glance, or even a touch.
But he held onto the words, even if something in him still felt like she might just be saying it to placate him. Saying it to keep the peace they needed between them for their dynamic to function. They were trapped together, after all.
But for now, it might be enough, at least until he recovered from this humiliation and found a new way to draw her out. He closed his eyes, focused on home, and once he materialized fully, he flopped back on their bed and stared up at the white ceiling. For now, it would be enough to hold on to, but he would need to find another opinion.
Cloris had always been closed off to him, to even her friends, the people she was supposedly closest to. He needed to figure out how to get under her armor.
A shuffle in the hall made him freeze. He held his breath hoping it was her in the hall, coming to their room, maybe they would talk and go over everything. But the heavy thump lumbered past the door and he realized it had to be Charon returning from whatever errands he had to do today. A few seconds passed and a door down the hallway closed.
Hades sighed and lay back on the bed again, considering his options. There was only one other being in the universe he knew who might give him insight into the woman he loved: Persephone.
He wasn’t sure he had the courage to seek her out, ask for her help, after all, she was Cloris’ ex-girlfriend. He wasn’t sure how they’d ended things or the current state of their relationship. Or hell, maybe she’d throw him out in a fit of jealous rage. Not that whatever existed between him and Cloris could conjure a jealous rage at the moment.
The good news was he knew where to find her. Another wrinkle since seeking her out would involve going to the only place he vowed he’d never return: The Underworld.
Six
Hades
Standing at the gates of the Underworld, as a visitor, felt more than surreal. The landscape was barely changed from Hel’s world, even though Persephone had taken over some time ago. The dead only arrive more aggressively during an apocalypse. And even the humans had begun to realize something darker on their edge of their existence.
He walked up to the palace, still as lovely as he built with his own hands. When he got to the door, he wasn’t sure if he should knock or walk on in. Technically, it was still his house … but he needed Persephone to stay. He couldn’t run this place again, nor could he stand to look at it after what Hell did to him and twisted his home into.
He pushed the door open and that old familiar creek of the hinge comforted him, fortified him to take another step forward. Once he cleared the hall, it was eerily silent. He walked across the black stone, looking for anyone.
